The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm," he complained. "That's why the suit is such a bargain," the sales clerk explained. "Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this."
He had finally got his chance to make the Really Big Sale. He was going into the final interview on the biggest contract he had ever written. As he was ushered into the office of the executive buyer, an assistant brought coffee and left. The atmosphere was cordial, and he knew he was giving his best presentation ever.
What is the most expensive substance in the world? Neither is it gold, though it is now well past $1,300 an ounce; nor is it platinum. The most expensive thing per ounce is the ink for your computer printer.
Gerald Ford ascended to the presidency at a difficult time in American history. He had been appointed vice president because of his reputation for honesty and integrity, to replace a vice president who had resigned in disgrace.
At the beginning of the 20th century, Lord Colby of Wales left to go bear hunting in Siberia. He would be gone 18 months. His wife asked if she could make a few alterations to the house while he was gone.
Two female friends die together in a car accident. As they enter heaven, Peter says, “There’s just one rule in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks.” As you can imagine, there were ducks all over heaven. When one of the women steps on one, Peter appears along with the ugliest man she ever saw and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this man.
In his Turning Point Daily Devotional for July 16, 2004, David Jeremiah shares the Paul Harvey story about how Eskimos sometimes killed wolves: “A knife with a razor-sharp blade was soaked in blood, then frozen. After repeating these two steps numerous times, the blade was completely concealed by frozen blood. It was stuck in the ground, blade up, waiting for a wolf to catch the scent. A wolf, unable to quench his desire for the blood, would ultimately bleed to death from wounds inflicted by licking the blade."
Dorothy Parker once wrote of the dancer Isadora Duncan, “There was never a place for her in the terrible slow army of the cautious. She ran ahead, where there were no paths.” What a wonderful tribute that would be for any of us -- that in faith, we run ahead, where there are no paths.
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul, the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"
As the Union Pacific Railroad was being constructed, an elaborate trestle bridge was built across a large canyon in the west. Wanting to test the bridge, the builder loaded a train with enough extra cars and equipment to double its normal payload. The train was then driven to the middle of the bridge, where it stayed an entire day.
Two New York city slickers tired of life in the city and bought a West Texas ranch. They wanted to live like their ancestors. These New Yorkers asked their neighboring rancher if he had a mule for sale. He didn't, but they started chatting, and the slickers noticed some honeydew melons piled up against the barn. They asked what they were, and the rancher decided to have a little fun. He told them they were mule eggs; if they wanted to buy one, it would hatch, and they would have a mule. The asking price was $50. Boy, what a deal!