In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here's an old favorite:

Father O'Malley, the parish priest, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, "In our world today, some people have so much while others have so little. We must give of ourselves and our worldly goods to help the less fortunate."

He said to Tommy O'Toole, "If you had ten thousand pounds, wouldn't you give half of it to the poor?"

Tommy said, "I would that, Father."

The priest continued, "And Tommy, if you had a great wealth of jewelry, wouldn't you sell it and give half to the poor?"

O'Toole replied, "Indeed I would, Father."

The priest said, "And Tommy, if you had two pigs, wouldn't you give one of them to your neighbor next door?"

Tommy said, "No."

The priest said, "And why not, my son?"

To which O'Toole replied, "Now Father, you know I have two pigs."