What exactly is Marriage?
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents." (Eric, 6)
"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." (Anita, 9)
What's the Proper Age to Get Married?
"Eighty-four, because at that age you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Carolyn, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Bert, 5)
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Martin, 10)
"Many daters just eat pork chops and French fries and talk about love." (Craig, 9)
When is it Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Allan, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you…If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
What is Falling in Love Like?
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)
What Role Do Good Looks Play in Love?
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
Confidential Opinions About Love
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
Some Surefire Ways to Make a Person Fall in Love With You
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure its something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)
(taken from Mikey's Funnies)
-Preaching November/December 1998