As the preacher was greeting people at the door after service, he saw an infrequent attender approach. Taking the man's hand, the preacher said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Preacher."

The preacher questioned, "Then why don't I see you any time except for Christmas
and Easter?"

The man whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

(from The Daily Dilly)