Illustration: Heart

A man is rushed to the ER after suffering a heart attack. The doctor tells him that he will not survive without a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "Good news—two hearts just became available, so you get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

The patient immediately responds, "The attorney's."

The doctor says, "Hang on. Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

The patient says, "I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney probably never used his, so I'll take the attorney's heart!"