The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: They were to have their parents tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road; all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family farms, too; but we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time; but when they hatched, we only got 10 live chicks. The moral of this story is don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, Ma'am. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
"She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke, then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands.
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't mess with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"