Genesis 44:34

34 How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? Oh, don't make me go back and watch my father die in grief!"

Genesis 44:34 Meaning and Commentary

Genesis 44:34

For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad [be] not with
me?
&c.] Signifying that he must abide in Egypt, and chose to do it, and could not go up to the land of Canaan any more or see his father's face without Benjamin along with him, to whom he was a surety for him: lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father;
see him die, or live a life of sorrow worse than death: this he could not bear, and chose rather to be a slave in Egypt, than to be the spectator of such an affecting scene. By this speech of Judah, Joseph plainly saw the great affection which his brethren, especially Judah, had for his father and his brother Benjamin, as well as the sense they had of their evil in selling him, which lay uppermost on their minds, and for which they thought themselves brought into all this trouble; wherefore he could no longer conceal himself from them, but makes himself known unto them, which is the principal subject of the following chapter.

Genesis 44:34 In-Context

32 And that's not all. I got my father to release the boy to show him to you by promising, 'If I don't bring him back, I'll stand condemned before you, Father, all my life.'

33 "So let me stay here as your slave, not this boy. Let the boy go back with his brothers.

34 How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? Oh, don't make me go back and watch my father die in grief!"