Recently some keen wits have distributed some translations for phrases used at work. For instance:

1) A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
2) Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
3) Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
4) Conscientious and careful: Scared.
5) Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
6) Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
7) Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
8) Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
9) Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
10) Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
11) Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
12) Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.

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J. Michael Shannon is professor of preaching at Cincinnati Bible College in Cincinnati, OH.