It's time to diet when…
* You can see the pot at the end of the rainbow - and it's yours.
* You take a shower, and nothing below your waist gets wet.
* You get your shoes shines, and you have to take the guy's word for it.
* The couch gets up when you do.
* A Peeping Tom begs you to pull your window shades down.
* Kids run to you to stay in the shade.
* Your fingers get stuck in the holes of a dial telephone.
* But remember…if you cheat on your diet, you gain in the end.

-Joey Adams