Signs of the Times

Sign in the Funeral Parlor: "Drive carefully - we can wait!"
Sign in a motel: "Our King Size Beds are a lot of bunk."
Sign in front of a church: "We have a long praying record."
Sign in a second hand store: "These books were owned by a little old lady who never read faster than 50 words a minute."
Sign in a tobacco store: "Keep off the grass."
Sign in an optometrist's window: "We're the best in sight."
Sign in a shoe repair shop: "We bring back departed soles."
Sign on a school bulletin board: "Free! Wisdom on Monday's through Fridays. Bring your own container."