One pastor had a rather crude layman who liked to go out visiting people. But he was rather crude, so the pastor gave him a list of delinquent church members and some church stationery and told him to write letters to all those who haven't been coming.

Several weeks later the church secretary received a letter from a lawyer with a check inside for $1000. And enclosed was this note:

"To whom it may concern. I received your letter and I want to remind you that there is only one "T" in dirty and no "C" in skunk."

-Sermons Illustrated May/June 1989