Recently some keen wits have distributed some translations for phrases used at work. For instance: 1) A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused. 2) Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes ...
These are actual quotes taken from Job Performance Reviews: "I would not allow this employee to breed." " This associate is really not so much of a has-been but a won't be." "Works well under constant...
The "Coronary and Ulcer Club" lists the following rules for members... 1. Your job comes first. Forget everything else.2. Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays are fine times to be working at the office. T...
How to Join the Coronary Club Membership Requirements: 1. Never say NO to a request - always say YES. 2. Your job comes first; personal considerations are secondary. 3. Accept all invitations to mee...
In the fourth year of his layoff from his job, Dad gave Mom a dishwasher for Christmas. You have to understand the magnitude of the gift: Our old house had its original wiring and plumbing, and neit...
If you were to evaporate a ton of water from the Pacific Ocean, you would get approximately 79 pounds of salt. A ton of Atlantic water would yield 81 pounds. And from the Dead Sea you would get almost...
A wonderful little piece has been making the rounds on the Internet. Perhaps you have seen it. It is a list of things God will not ask you on the day you meet him: 1. God won't ask what kind of c...
A guest at a hotel was in a hurry to check out when he realized he did not have his briefcase. He went to the bellhop and said, "Would you please hurry to room 1203? I think I left my briefcase there....
A guest at a hotel was in a hurry to check out when he realized he did not have his briefcase. He went to the bellboy and said, "Would you please hurry to room 1203? I think I left my briefcase there....
Have you seen those little books that say, "You might be a redneck if"? Well, I've put together a little list for us here, just to check us out. You may have a "me" addiction if you have, let's say in...
Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank...
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say 10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know, Pumpkin, now that you're 13, you'll be ready for unch...
Howard Snyder in his book, The Community of the King, shares that the eternal Church of Jesus Christ is a leavening influence on society. He says that the Church is not to be misinterpreted as a prima...
What do you do when your fears seem to be winning the day? What if you pray and God still hasn’t come through for you? If you are like most people, you begin to lose hope, and you wonder why you bothe...
Matthew 4: 1-11 The challenge of taking tests starts rather early in......
Dr. Bill Lawrence
Every time we fall into one of the temptations, we end up short-circuiting our purpose, sinning against God, harming others, and deceiving ourselves into thinking we are doing well....
Jared C. Wilson
“We believe” the creed has us say, and this belief begins where the gospel story and our worship ought to begin, with the one who has no beginning (or end): God himself. ...
Joe McKeever
Listen as the congregation files out of the sanctuary on Sunday, and you'll hear the common refrain: "I didn't get anything out of ___ [fill-in-the-blank] ___."...