Luke 9:23-25 MSG

23 Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat - I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how.
24 Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.
25 What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?