Many of us crave the image in our head of family coming close, friends getting together, and joy and peace marking each moment; yet the reality often looks very different. Why the difference?

Does scripture encourage a spouse to patiently and quietly endure harsh and abusive treatment within her or his marriage?

The underlying sin of self-injury is turning to self for relief rather than to God. The cutter tries to accomplish for herself something that only God can do. Sin’s deceitfulness lures the self-injurer on.

We are, without effort, naturally oblivious to ultimate spiritual reality, that is, to the glorious nature of the person of God and His marvelous works. Furthermore, we are oblivious to the very presence of this blindness in moments in which it is most profound.

It’s true that the counselor’s goal in marital counseling is to stay neutral and not take sides, but that is not Biblical when it comes to serious and repetitive marital sin. We must not stay silent and not speak the truth just because it may cause someone to get upset, walk away, or stop counseling. Jesus never did.

God covered our shame over and over but Christ absorbed it once and for all at the Cross. We get that intellectually, but those who have been abused hear other voices—voices of condemnation and humiliation.

We want to make sure we understand God’s design for our relationships rather than allow a popularized word or concept to define our interactions with others.

When someone isn’t able move beyond her failures, mistakes, and even sins, she can get stuck in a spiral of debilitating regret, depression, and even self-hatred.

Sexual infidelity is betrayal of the deepest kind, and most marriages don’t fully recover. For a marriage to heal, both the unfaithful spouse and the one betrayed must fight hard to rebuild their relationship.

Sexual abuse in marriage is not something that is readily disclosed or discussed. It feels shameful to admit even to one’s self that your own husband treats you as if your sole purpose is to provide him your body whenever and however he wants sex.

Serious and repetitive sin is lethal to any relationship. We would not be loving the destructive person if we kept quiet and colluded with his self-deception or enabled his sin to flourish without any attempt to speak truth into his life.

Many of the great figures in church history have kept a journal, and the church has benefited greatly from this window into their daily life (not as a voyeur, but to understand what spiritual greatness looks like in the mundane-ness of daily life).

If a pastor has struggled with depression in the past, how much of this should he share. There are no simple answers, but these points may help shape a wise decision.

This side of heaven all of us do it and most of the time we do it without knowing that we are. It is such a natural thing for sinners to do. Perhaps every day, someplace, at some moment we want what someone else has.