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7 Truths to Remember When Your Spouse Struggles with a Porn Addiction

7 Truths to Remember When Your Spouse Struggles with a Porn Addiction

February 26, 2025

Most people in the western world have viewed pornography, and many of them view it regularly, even becoming addicted. Michael Chancellor observed: “porn expands the lust for sex to the point that lust displaces God at the center of one’s life. [...] It elevates itself to be the greatest need. It isolates us from others but most especially from God.”

If one spouse is addicted to porn, this triples the likelihood of adultery, while an “obsessive interest” in porn is cited as a cause in more than half of American divorces. Pornography distorts the purpose of sex and spoils a tender, three-dimensional intimacy between couples.

There is hope for healing, however. How can one spouse respond redemptively when his or her spouse becomes addicted to porn?

1. Acknowledge the Pain

Ellen Mary Dykas says that “God invites you to grieve the hurt, the broken trust, and the deep disappointment caused by your [spouse’s] pursuit of pornography.” God invites us to enter this place of deep pain and confusion with him at our sides.

Julie Ganschow explains: “You are in the midst of a trial that has broken the trust you once had [...]. Regardless of what kind of sexual sin he [or she] was involved in, the faith and confidence you once had [...] has been damaged, or, at the worst, destroyed.” Acknowledge whatever is in your heart, even if it is sinful, so you can start to heal.

The suffering you face is also a reminder of your need for the love of God. It is tempting to run from the pain, but that puts up a wall from behind which you fail to discern God’s direction and his tenderness towards you. Apart from him, you might respond to your spouse’s sin with sins of your own. Ask God to walk with you through this ordeal, and “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

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7 Verses and Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart

7 Verses and Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart

January 8, 2025

Some of our fears and anxieties are large-scale, related to wars around the world or protecting our families during natural disasters. Some anxieties are more personal: what to do about conflicts with siblings, phobias, or dread over a medical appointment? How does Scripture address our fears and worries?

Here are some Scriptural truths to remind us of God’s personal presence in the midst of anxiety, and his power to do something about it.

1. When You Are Lacking Confidence

“He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it” (Titus 1:9).

Something important has to be said, action taken, but I dread it Lord. My friend is not going to like hearing what I have to say. I am afraid of conducting myself badly, maybe losing my temper, or being cold and cruel to hide my fear: that I’m both wrong and unkind.

We feel unable to act boldly because we mistrust ourselves. But you ask us to trust you, not ourselves. You, Lord, empower us to do whatever you want. Please tell us what that is as we read your Word and reflect on it. Then, fill us with confidence in you to empower us as we do your will, whether to speak and to act, or to stay silent and do nothing. Help us to trust your guidance then be confident to do your will. Help us to trust the process, and to also submit the result to your purposes.

You take us places and you shape outcomes, but they don’t always look how we expect them to. It doesn’t always appear victorious, and then we wonder if we were being foolish or really hearing you. We become tentative. But we have not seen the end of your plans. You have not revealed the wider mystery of how we are connected to Kingdom work in other people’s lives. Renew our spirit of humility towards you so we can approach the world with confidence in your power.

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5 Things You’re Misunderstanding about the Unforgivable Sin

5 Things You’re Misunderstanding about the Unforgivable Sin

January 7, 2025

Mark 3:29-30 records this warning from Jesus: “whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin.” For two thousand years, Christians have been wondering, what if they have committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy? And potential believers have pondered this question: am I already too far gone, because I have blasphemed countless times?

Re-reading the gospel accounts of Jesus’ statement, with some direction from biblical scholarship, sheds light on what Jesus was truly saying and gives hope to those who believe there is no hope of salvation for them. Here are five things you are misunderstanding about the unforgivable sin.

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5 Practical Ways to Overcome Evil with Good

5 Practical Ways to Overcome Evil with Good

September 6, 2024

Paul taught his readership of new Christians in Rome “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:20-21).

Here the evil (kakos) Paul refers to means “wrongs inflicted.” Paul addresses harm that has been done to his readers, and even the harm done by his readers, in the daily small actions of living in community. The Message translation puts it this way: “laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody” (vv.14-16).

Here are five practical ways to overcome evil with good, which emerge from Romans 20.

Photo credit: Unsplash/Erika Giraud

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