
7 Truths to Remember When Your Spouse Struggles with a Porn Addiction
February 26, 2025
Most people in the western world have viewed pornography, and many of them view it regularly, even becoming addicted. Michael Chancellor observed: “porn expands the lust for sex to the point that lust displaces God at the center of one’s life. [...] It elevates itself to be the greatest need. It isolates us from others but most especially from God.”
If one spouse is addicted to porn, this triples the likelihood of adultery, while an “obsessive interest” in porn is cited as a cause in more than half of American divorces. Pornography distorts the purpose of sex and spoils a tender, three-dimensional intimacy between couples.
There is hope for healing, however. How can one spouse respond redemptively when his or her spouse becomes addicted to porn?
1. Acknowledge the Pain
Ellen Mary Dykas says that “God invites you to grieve the hurt, the broken trust, and the deep disappointment caused by your [spouse’s] pursuit of pornography.” God invites us to enter this place of deep pain and confusion with him at our sides.
Julie Ganschow explains: “You are in the midst of a trial that has broken the trust you once had [...]. Regardless of what kind of sexual sin he [or she] was involved in, the faith and confidence you once had [...] has been damaged, or, at the worst, destroyed.” Acknowledge whatever is in your heart, even if it is sinful, so you can start to heal.
The suffering you face is also a reminder of your need for the love of God. It is tempting to run from the pain, but that puts up a wall from behind which you fail to discern God’s direction and his tenderness towards you. Apart from him, you might respond to your spouse’s sin with sins of your own. Ask God to walk with you through this ordeal, and “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).
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