Fundamental Changes

Jesus prefaces this truth with a term he uses nowhere else in Scripture. It’s translated “children,” and it’s filled with tremendous care and concern for the disciples (v. 33). Jesus’s departure is not going to be easy for them. This is not a message he could simply drop into the middle of a conversation: “Hey, Peter, did you pick up the fish from the market? Oh, by the way, I’m leaving, and you can’t come with me.” The dynamics of the relationship are changing. They’ll no longer be able to walk physically with him. So Jesus uses a term filled with care and overflowing with tenderness: my little children.

How could Jesus say to them here in chapter 13, “Where I am going, you cannot come” (v. 33), and just a few verses later tell them he was leaving to prepare a place for them so they could be where he was (14:2-3)? The key to solving this mystery lies in the phrase “just as I told the Jews.” Back in chapter 8 Jesus told the Jews that he was going away and they would seek him and not find him: “Where I am going, you cannot come.” The Jews wondered if Jesus was going to kill himself (8:22). They were wrong about the means of Jesus’s death—he was not committing suicide—but they were right to understand that he was referring to his death when he said that. Now in chapter 13, as he speaks to his disciples, he is not saying, “I’m going to heaven. Sorry, you can’t go there.” He’s saying, “I’m going to the cross, and I go alone. You cannot go to the cross with me.” Only Jesus could go to the cross and pay the penalty that satisfies the demands of justice.

Their relationship with Jesus is changing. They will still follow his teaching and commands, but they will no longer physically follow him. That’s not the only relationship that’s changing. Their relationship with one another is undergoing a radical overhaul. With Jesus’s departure they are now being brought into a new community that will be defined by love.

When Jesus was on earth, how would someone know that a person was a disciple of Jesus? The answer is easy. They would watch them. If they followed Jesus around from place to place and listened to his teaching, then they were one of his disciples. That’s fine when he’s on the earth, but now what are they going to do? How will anyone recognize them as his disciples if he isn’t around? “They will know you are my disciples because I am forming you into a new community that will operate on principles of love” (vv. 34-35; my paraphrase). Three times in these two verses Jesus says, “one another.” The “one anothers” are his disciples. There is to be a community of disciples identifiable to the world by their love for one another. He is not leaving the disciples alone. He is leaving them together. Because of their relationship with him, they have a relationship with one another. He addresses them all as children, an intimate, family term. This is what he is leaving behind: a group of God’s children, a band of brothers who serve one another in humility and love. That’s what a church is.

He calls this command to love one another a “new” command, but there’s nothing new about God giving a command to love others. All the way back in Leviticus we find the command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (19:18). In what sense is this command new?

First, it’s new because it has its source in Christ’s love for them. The command is to love one another as Christ has loved them. Here is a new standard for love. This is the ultimate example of our love for one another. We are to see Jesus’s sacrificial, selfless love as the measure, goal, and enabling force of our love for one another. Also, our love for one another is only possible because of what Jesus did on the cross. Had he not paid for our sins and given us a new, righteous nature, we would be unable to love one another. I can love now because he first loved me. So it’s a new command because of his love, which enables and exemplifies sacrificial love.

Second, it’s new because it will define a community that is just coming into existence. Shortly after Jesus departs this earth, the church is established. This command is new because it’s specifically given to this new institution made up of followers of Jesus.

Every organization is identified by certain characteristics. If you see a big, brown truck with yellow letters and a man dressed in brown steps out to deliver a package, you can identify the organization. Churches should not be identified by a white steeple, a sign with clever sayings, or a large wooden cross; they should be identified by the quality of one member’s love for another. Genuine disciples of Jesus cannot be identified on the basis of a cross tattoo, fish decal, or “I ? Jesus” mug. Jesus says in effect, “My disciples will be distinct because of their love.” People will see their love for one another and the only response they’ll be able to make is, “Wow, they must be followers of Jesus.”

Followers of Jesus will love others more than we love ourselves. That’s a pretty tough standard. What does that look like on a practical level? If you love others like you love yourself, you’ll give others the benefit of the doubt. We’re so suspicious of other people. We distrust their motives. We often act like other people are criminal masterminds, intentionally weaving a web of lies, trying to entrap us. Instead, we should give others the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been around a hypochondriac—someone who always thinks she’s sick. She gets a cough, looks online, and now is pretty sure she has the bubonic plague. Or he sees a red spot on his arm and thinks he’s dying from leprosy when it’s dried ketchup from lunch. Such people live suspiciously. Everything is a clue with a deeper meaning. Hypochondriacs are anxious, they’re nervous, they’re overwhelmed by fear. Too often we view others with greater suspicion than a hypochondriac views a sore throat. We don’t give others the same benefit of the doubt we give ourselves. Love detests evil (Rom 12:9). It’s patient, not suspicious of other people (1 Cor 13:4-7). Love doesn’t say, “Why’d they do that? What did they mean when they said that? What they probably really meant was . . .” Those are unloving ways to treat other people. Are you continually plotting ways to hurt other people? Of course not! Then why do you think other people are doing that to you?

Two of the great ways to love people (and they go hand in hand) are to assume the best and have a sense of humor. When someone says something to you that could be interpreted two ways, assume the best possible interpretation and laugh about it. Even if you’re wrong, you’ll be happier. Sometimes we parse other people’s words like we’re back in high school English class. We’ve diagrammed their sentences to see if there’s any possible way for what they said to be understood as offensive. If there’s even a remote chance, we consider it hostile and get offended. Why? Because we don’t love them as we love ourselves. Christian love intentionally assumes the best about people. It refuses to jump to conclusions. It doesn’t judge motives. It is kind.

Peter brushes aside Jesus’s command to love one another in a new community of faith. He’s still struggling with Jesus’s announcement that he is leaving and they can’t come with him. He asks Jesus where he’s going (v. 36). Look at the bold statement Peter makes: “I will lay down my life for you” (v. 37). Jesus challenges Peter: “Really? No. In fact, you’re not even going to spend the rest of the evening following me. You will deny me three times before the rooster announces the dawn” (my paraphrase).

So Jesus tells Peter that he will not follow Jesus. He’ll turn away. But if we back up, we see before that he tells Peter, “You cannot follow me” (v. 36). So Peter’s not entirely to blame. It’s true he won’t follow Jesus, but that’s because he can’t follow him. Peter has no power within himself to continue as Jesus’s disciple. Are we to conclude that in the face of difficult circumstances, there’s no ability in us to follow Jesus? That might be true if it weren’t for a small phrase tacked onto the end of verse 36: “But you will follow later” (emphasis added). After Jesus goes to the cross, Peter will be able to follow him. One of the themes Jesus instructs them on in the next few chapters is the gift of the Holy Spirit to indwell and empower them to follow him. Through suffering and persecution, into acts of love and mercy, they will be given the power through what Jesus accomplished to really live as his disciples.