Read Genesis 44:34 Using Other Translations
For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father.
For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father."
For how can I return to my father if the boy is not with me? I couldn’t bear to see the anguish this would cause my father!”