Half-Heartedness

A fellow was found with a rope around his wrist, strung from a light fixture. His buddy cut him down and said, "What in the world are you doing?"
"Committing suicide!"
"Well, you should have put it around your neck if you really wanted to commit suicide."
The fellow answered, "I tried it around my neck but it was choking me."

-Pocket Smiles, Robert Savage