You know you're drinking too much coffee when:

- You answer the door before people knock.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward speed to avoid being bored.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- All your kids are named "Joe."
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You go to AA Meetings just for the free coffee.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.