5 Biblical Strategies for Controlling Your Anger
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I engaged in chiropractic care, regular deep breathing and prayer time, more regular exercise, some parent coaching and therapy, and more rest. Over time, I could feel my body grow calmer and more capable of connecting with my children in the way I desired. I learned that for God to answer my prayer, which was that I would be a better mom, I had to take practical steps to care for my mind and body. This is true for us all. We are all embodied, which means if we want to control our emotions, we must manage the stress that lives in our bodies well.
Proverbs 27:17 teaches, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” We need each other to change, grow, and heal. If we are struggling with a pattern of harmful anger, we need the help of others to be able to successfully change our behavior.
Enlist the support of a friend, pastor, spouse, life coach, therapist, or mentor. Be open with them, honestly sharing the behavior you desire to change, and ask them to check on you so you have someone to be accountable to. Boundaries are a vital part of being a loving person, and accountability for your actions is a healthy boundary that enables you to love others well.
If we fail to surrender our actions and live with repentance now, the consequences will become clearer when we meet our maker. Matthew 12:36-37 declares, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” God will judge our actions, so it’s important that we take steps to live a holy life here in the land of the living so we meet God’s grace at the end of our lives rather than his wrath.
Anger is often a sign of deep hurt. If we want to end our anger, we have to deal with our hurts. Therapy is a great way to explore your story, process your emotions, and learn new skills that will help you better interact with the world around you.
If we want different results, we have to be willing to try doing things a different way. Seeking out anger management tools, creating more discipline in your daily routine so you avoid triggers, and taking time to deal with your hurt can change everything.
If you find you and your spouse are continuing to have explosive arguments, then it’s time to bring in a therapist who can help you safely share your needs, learn how to forgive, and do things differently. The thing is, for most of us, it's not one and done. We have to keep going back to find the support we need when old habits resurface or we find new reasons for anger and bitterness to grow in our hearts. Don’t grow weary in doing good; there is a reward to be had when we are diligent in finding the support we need (Galatians 6:9).
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