What do you do then if you are in a struggling marriage? To be clear I am not talking about an abusive marriage – that is an entirely different category which we spoke about earlier. There are no magic formulas in marriage, it takes 100 percent commitment from both parties. Here are some tips to consider if you are struggling.
1 – Remember why you fell in love in the first place.
If possible, either have a conversation or write down the things that caused you to fall in love with your spouse in the first place. Sometimes looking backwards helps us to remember the things that really matter.
2 – Grow together spiritually.
Many times, discord comes when people are in different places. This is especially true if one of you wants to get closer to God and the other is lukewarm or not interested in the idea. As best as you can, try to encourage growth together. But if the other spouse is reluctant, you keep growing. I would add this; sometimes in the zeal to get the other spouse moving towards the things of God, you begin to remind them of how much they need God. If Jesus is making the difference in your life, make sure it is shown in your behavior not just your words. This has a way of allowing the other spouse to see the change in you and that can be the thing that draws them.
3 – Do the things you did at first.
I am going to make this point very simple. Whatever you did to win the heart of your spouse, continue doing those things. Don’t take them for granted.
4 – Pray and commit.
You cannot survive a struggling relationship unless both parties are willing to work on it. Marriage is a two-way commitment, as all successful relationships are. If you are both committed than pray your way through these tough moments, but remember the commitment you have made to each other.
5 – Get help.
The last thing I would say is get help. There is no shame in getting counseling from someone who is a professional. If you care about your spouse and you care about the marriage than the commitment must be to do everything you can to make it work. Sometimes that will require outside help.
Photo credit: Unsplash/Travis Grossen