Illustration: Perspective, Heaven

Two female friends die together in a car accident. As they enter heaven, Peter says, "There's just one rule in heaven. Don't step on the ducks." As you can imagine, there were ducks all over heaven. When one of the women steps on one, Peter appears along with the ugliest man she ever saw and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this man.

After seeing what happened to her friend, the other woman is very careful to avoid stepping on ducks. One day Peter approaches her with the most handsome man she ever saw, and he chains the man to her.

"Oh, my," she says. "I don't know what I could have done to deserve a man like you."

To which the man replied, "I don't know about you, lady, but I stepped on a duck." (Robert Kopp, "Cutting Through Compromise")