4 Tips from 1 Corinthians to Help Mend Conflict in Your Marriage
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Unity is found when we approach one another with humility. Paul’s words remind us that when we face conflict, we need to be most mindful of our posture before even attempting to try to untangle the details of what is driving a wedge between us and our spouse. We can overcome almost any disagreement if we approach one another with a humble heart and by using loving words.
Conflict only escalates when we refuse to carefully listen to our partner. If our aim is to get on the same page, we have to be willing to listen first. This simple but sometimes incredibly difficult act of humility communicates so much value to your spouse in a moment of disagreement!
When communicating it is really key that you take the time to both summarize and affirm your partner. A simple way to show that you are listening is to resist the urge to interject while your spouse is speaking. Once they are finished talking then take a moment to offer a short recap of what they have shared with you. This is a great way to show that you are truly putting out the effort to hear all of what they are trying to say.
Before sharing your “side of the story” pause to verbalize the fact that you love them and are on their team, even when you don’t see things the same way. It is so important to show that you are willing to listen and that you care about their feelings. Listening is about considering your partner; it should not be a chance to formulate more ways to communicate to them that you believe that they are wrong.
Once you have taken the time to hear what is on your partner’s mind and assured them that you care about what they have to say the next step is to share your thoughts on the matter. Trust is built and maintained in our relationships when we remain committed to being open and kind in our communication with each other.
Take care that your feedback is expressed in a loving manner. Honesty is important but not at the emotional expense of your spouse. Find ways to share what is on your mind that uses language that is not accusatory. Remember the path forward is one that you guys forge together.
After you both have had a chance to communicate openly about how you are feeling then it is time to find a way forward that you can both agree upon. If you face an issue that feels like it will remain a stumbling block to one of you if change doesn’t occur, then it’s worth avoiding that activity out of love for your spouse.
There are no disagreements so important that winning trumps your relationship. Even when you face irreconcilable differences doing everything you can to show your partner love and forgiveness is what a marriage that follows after the model that Jesus sets for us calls for. When you realize that your number one job in your relationship is to love one another above anything else then the way you face conflict in your relationship will be transformed!
The next time you face a conflict in your marriage, remember, it’s not about the meat! The goal is always finding a path forward that genuinely shows love for one another. What a transformational way to approach your marriage! May you be one who remembers that love builds up.
When we stop pursuing and choosing one another, we allow footholds to take place in our lives and in our relationships. In other words when we begin prioritizing other things, getting distracted, or simply growing complacent - we create a recipe for losing at love. No matter your relationship status, this is a conversation that will equip you to look, live, love, and lead more like Christ from the inside out! If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to The Built Different Podcast on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so you never miss an episode!
