5 New Year's Resolutions for Parents of Adult Children
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While reading through Psalm 1 recently, I was struck by verse 2, which says, "But his delight is in the law of the LORD…." Before I'd begun reading this Psalm, I had been missing my adult children and longing to see and connect with them. They are busy living their lives as they should be. I am so thankful that they are doing well and being responsible, mature adults. But occasionally, when there are longer stretches of time between when I connect with them, I will begin to long to spend time with them and get caught up on what is going on in their lives.
I will continue to serve and bless my adult children with no strings attached and no expectations, but only because I love them.
All our expectations and desires are not necessarily wrong. Ideally, the relationship with our children should be a two-way street. But, getting into the mindset of serving and blessing, without an agenda, but only to love like God loves us, is the best place to be. It will remove any pressure we might be tempted to put on our children.
I will prayerfully pursue my adult children.
We must be prayerful about all we do and say as we relate to our children, not only because we want a good relationship with them but because we are called to reflect God in all we do and speak. How does God pursue us? He gives constant invitations, never condemnation. In the same way that God is with us, we must learn to pursue and invite them in because we love them and want to bless them, and never use guilt or condemnation to manipulate them to do what we might want them to do.
I will pray and ask God to create an atmosphere in my home and interactions with my grown children that causes our time together to be a "delight."
God meets us where we are at, loves us unconditionally, and is patient with us as we learn and grow. He leads me beside still waters, restores my soul, and prepares a table for me. He gives me rest, refreshes me, and provides for my needs. When we remember what God offers us as His children, we will delight in our time with Him. If we emulate what He does for us, there will be an atmosphere of delight in our relationship with our children.
I will do my best to leave my children better than I found them.
When I take the time to spend time in the Word of God, nurturing my relationship with Him, I leave that precious time with Him better prepared, in every way, to face the day. Isn't that a wonderful way to view our time with our adult children? They are in the thick of getting established in their jobs, starting and raising their family, buying a home, and paying bills. It can be overwhelming when you enter the adult world and realize everything waiting for you. When they enter our home, we can make it our goal to do what we can to encourage and refresh them, helping to give them a little fuel that will enable them to enter back into the real world. We don't need to give advice or tell them our opinions (unless asked!). We can pray and ask God to show us the best way to bless them in the moment. He will show us what to do.
In the same way God sees and interacts with us, we can learn to see our children as people who need to feel secure and know that they can always count on us. They need to feel supported and loved unconditionally. (in the same way we do!) They need our compassion and understanding. In the same way that God says to us, "I've got you, child of mine. I see what's happening in your life and what you need. You can find rest in Me," we can see our own children, no matter their age, and have that same heart attitude – if we will ask God to give it to us.