Being True to Our Word Matters as Christians
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Would you like to join this committee? Can you do lunch this week? Would you watch my dog while I go out of town? Want to join our tennis league? Can you lead this Bible study? Would you serve in the children’s ministry? Want to join this service project?
These are not bad opportunities by any means, but if we said yes to all of them, would that really be fair to any of them? If we said no to all of them, would we be missing out on growth opportunities or genuine relationships? Today we are going to explore why being true to our word matters as Christians.
Matthew 5:37 says, “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no,’ anything more than this is from the evil one.”
The Context of Matthew 5:37
This statement about being true to our words is found in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus spoke this Himself. He was sharing to a vast crowd of Jews and Gentiles alike. This is a very practical, yet complex lesson. He is teaching the importance of being honest and holding integrity.
The Overcommitted Christian
It seems simple at first glance to only say yes and no to things that we need to, but how much more difficult is this in the everyday? We often think about the “big yeses,” but how frequently can we overcommit ourselves in a day or week? This happens regularly to “yes people.” Unfortunately, they can be taken advantage of not only by those outside of the church body, but from within.
Have you ever heard the saying that 10% of the people do 90% of the work? It is the idea that people love to consume and take part in events, social gatherings, programs, and services, but when asked to help out, somehow it always ends up being the same people who are called upon, volunteer, or seek out to serve.
Saying yes is not a bad decision, depending on the motive behind the yes. For example, if someone is asked to give to a ministry which they have given to for many years and this is not the best time for their family to do so, they might say yes begrudgingly. But God is clear in His word that He loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:6-7). Or if someone bitterly says yes (yet again) to another committee or another activity in town, their yes is not wholehearted, which leaves a foothold of bitterness for the enemy. Or if someone is always front running as a “yes person” out of pride for a position and rank, this is not from a humble spirit, but for selfish gain. We have to test ourselves.
It is easy for any of us to be the overcommitted Christian. We think that this helps our witness for Christ, showing that we are a team player, involved, and active. However, it can often hurt our witness if we are shallow, burnt out, and ultimately not loving those within our own homes best. If we pour ourselves out in every area but neglect our priorities, we fail to love well. We miss the blessing in boundaries. 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us the seriousness in the calling of providing for our own households. 1 Peter 3:7 tells us that a husband’s prayers can even be hindered if he is not loving his wife.
We can easily focus on good things but miss the best things. Yes, seems like such a nice word. This is very deceiving. Yes, appears like a word that the questioner desires to hear. It is the people pleaser’s favorite word. Giving someone a temporary thrill of yes is not worth the damage done in the long run. We can be afraid to let others down with our words, but fail to realize that a no would have been a kinder word in the end. Do we want to truly love well, or do we want to people please?
Jesus was perfect, and Jesus did not always say yes. He could not always say yes. He would still be going around healing people from physical ailments and teaching them parables if he always said yes. Jesus had to say no to get to His ultimate mission of the cross. He had to prioritize and set healthy boundaries between life, family, ministry, and friendships. We see this in Mark 1:34-38.
No can be a scary word for some of us. No can feel like a letdown. Once I learned that my no can lead to another person’s yes. Sometimes I am the one standing in the way of someone else fulfilling a calling the Lord is leading them to, but if I always say yes, they miss the blessing and the growth from the opportunity.
The Idle Christian
On the other hand no can be the wrong answer too. I think this is a particularly easy answer for those who became used to it during COVID. The pandemic taught us all to slow down and pull back, which carried a lot of benefits, but if we weren’t careful this led to laziness and isolation. If we weren’t careful, we began to say no to things like community and outreach, things that Jesus called us to.
Jesus’ final words before He ascended into Heaven were to go and make disciples of all nations. The verbs were go and make. If we stay inside and do not get out and share His love with people, we are being disobedient to that calling. Yes, there are situations such as health or age that might keep someone physically confined, and yes God can still use them in various ways for His glory. However, as Christians we are called to be active with the gospel.
Just because we do not want to do something does not mean that God does not want us to do something. Think about Jonah saying no to return to Nineveh. Or Esther’s gut reaction to avoid going before the King. Ponder Jesus Himself begging the Father to take the cup of the cross away from Him. They could have all said no. No was the easy thing, but not the best thing.
We can say no as a safety net, thinking that we are avoiding pain, challenging relationships, situations we would not like to be in, or just opportunities outside of our comfort zones. However, God prepares and provides. He is strong enough to support our fear filled or uncertain yeses when we are being obedient to His Holy Spirit. This is why it is vital that we have open hearts and surrendered lives to His Spirit’s leading.
Avoiding a Yes or a No
Many times people like to give an “almost yes.” We like to avoid saying no or yes. We like to see if there is something better that comes along. We live in a consumer mindset of instant gratification culture. This is not being true to our word. This is not even having the kindness to give an answer. Absolutely say, “Let me think about it” if you need time to pray or process. Absolutely give a “Can I get back to you?” But, stringing others along out of selfishness or fear of giving the answer you know you need to give is not a good representation of Christ.
We need to let our yes be yes and our no be no. Are we loving others well (the second greatest commandment) when we avoid an answer? We need to give them clarity; it is the kindest choice.
Do you tend to say yes or no too often? What is your quick response? How can knowing our testimony and witness matter in how we say yes or no cause you to rethink your answer? With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can be empowered to give our answers with confidence and faith in the Lord.
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