Growing Closer to God through Questioning Him

When my daughter was stillborn, I questioned God. I asked him, “Why?”— driving my inquiry into His character, my words into His mind for me and this world. My question was an expression of anguish taken to the God who could have changed the outcome of labor and delivery. It was also an expression of trust taken to the God who chose not to do so. Though He chose not to summon His power for the prevention of this early death, He was still and will forever be the only One who could have done so.

The answer I received amidst my inquiry was a helping of God’s sweet sovereignty. This doctrine was spooned into my spirit, a caring reply to my lament. I could receive God’s sovereignty as a help and aid in the early days of my grief because I knew that He was not at blame for any wrong. Would my daughter be here with me this day if all were right with the world, were the world free of sin? Yes. But it is not free of sin. Adam sinned and therefore sin is passed to all of humanity. And, I would have sinned in the garden too. The world holds suffering because sin entered the course of human history. 

To question God involves acknowledging that He could have changed, prevented, or overturned suffering circumstances—and is able to change the future days of our lives as well. To question God involves acknowledging that He cares to hear the concerns of His people—for, He is our God because He has personally cared to be so. And, to question God involves discovering that our hiding place is in Him, our sovereign One.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Marjan Apostolovic

Lamentations is one book of Scripture in which God is questioned amidst suffering: 

With expression of the bleak, grim disposition of Israel in her ruin: “Look, O Lord, and see! With whom have you dealt thus? Should womb eat the fruit of their womb, the children of their tender care? Should priest and prophet be killed in the sanctuary of the Lord?” (Lamentations 2:20). And with expression of the feeling of being abandoned by God: “Why do you forget us forever, why do you forsake us for so many days?” (Lamentations 5:20). 

These questions are posed within the context of God’s promises of destruction if Israel would forsake God and His word (Lamentations 2:17; see also Leviticus 26:14-39; Deuteronomy 28:15-68). The questions are also asked within the context of the writer’s theological understanding that God is right for the suffering He has inflicted upon Israel (Lamentations 1:18).

Hear this expression of humility concerning God’s sovereign justice in punishing sin: “Who has spoken and it came to pass unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come? Why should a living man complain, a man, about the punishment of his sins?” (Lamentations 3:37-39).

With the questions of blame aside, Lamentations is then a full articulation of the pain Israel was experiencing. It conveys trust that those who humbly approach God with a correct, personal theological understanding of sin would be accepted in accordance with His great mercy (Lamentations 3:22). 

God can be questioned humbly or pridefully. He can be questioned with accusation or with brokenness and trust. The honesty of our “why?” questions can be delivered in detail while also acknowledging that God has always been right (Deuteronomy 32:4). He is just to have given mankind consequences for our sins. And He is still just in punishing sin at any time. There is no “I deserve better!” before this God, when we come to see that His mercy alone has kept us from perishing eternally this moment and every preceding moment.

Jesus clearly teaches that not all suffering is linked to any particular personal sin (John 9:3). Yet, due to the fall and sin nature of all people, there is a sense in which we all can agree with Lamentations’ words about Israel’s suffering, “The LORD is in the right, for I have rebelled against his word” (Lamentations 1:18). This theme of humility in approaching God is also displayed throughout Scripture, as in Nehemiah 9:33, “Yet you have been righteous in all that has come upon us, for you have dealt faithfully and we have acted wickedly” (c.f. Ezra 9:15; Jeremiah 12:1).

Photo credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden

Jesus questioned the Father—Jesus, the One who took others’ sins and suffering willingly and voluntarily. Though Jesus alone could offer perfectly and righteously lament—no fault being in Him—we may still learn from Jesus’ prayer as mere men and women.

First, we can consider who Jesus is. Never did Jesus approach the Father apart from righteousness. So, we can seek a right disposition before God in our prayers. This disposition approaches God in accordance with what He deserves from us—including with the humility and trust Scriptures teach for lament. Perhaps this prayer also involves a contrite confession of pride and unbelief. And, as in all prayer, we approach the Father with a right disposition by only venturing before Him in the name of Christ, who is our righteous Mediator.  

Further, Jesus prayed “my God.” And may we too, thinking of both words, “my” and “God.” Expressing that He is ours means that we trust Him, that He is the only One to whom we pray, the only One to whom we offer our beings and lives for service. And thinking of Him as God, we can recall the meaning of God—there is no one like Him. No one else who knew the beginning of our lives from the end before we were in existence. No one else whose breath commanded the creation of all we now see. No one else to whom eternal glory is due forever and ever. No one else who decreed His own suffering and death for our sins prior to creation being set on its foundations. 

There is no sinfulness in questioning our great God in the same humble and trusting manner as the Lord Jesus. And there is no sinfulness in offering a prayer of honest confession if we do not see within ourselves the humility and trust the Scriptures espouse. Beyond not being sinful, to convey the fullness of our hearts to our God is good and right. This category of prayer honors God inherently. It is an acknowledgement that He does care to hear. It is an acknowledgement of His power and of our future hope. And, it allows us to receive the provision of Himself, of knowing Him and being His own in the pain.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Melpomenem

I do not have all the answers regarding why God did not intervene to save my daughter. I was at the hospital the night before her death for a routine check, and the doctors offered to begin the processes of labor and delivery with me that evening. I chose to see if I might go into labor naturally overnight, knowing I would simply return in the morning to be induced if not. If I have chosen the opposite, my daughter might be here with me this day—a dear and darling seven-year-old. Though I do not see the fullness of the answer today as to why God did not intervene in those circumstances, I am not without any answers. 

I have the most important answer—God has remedied the core problem of mankind’s sin and rebellion. He has offered a salvation at the cost of His own grave suffering. Because the core of the problem is reversed, I know only time is needed until waves of full resolution come to joyously engulf all of my life as a believer. By His grace, I have hope of seeing my beautiful daughter again, of never knowing pain or suffering anymore, and of seeing the face of my Savior who has been my rock of security and leader of healing and growth all of my life, my kind and good Lord.

If you are having difficulty trusting God, remember the theme of questions and answers. Follow a biblical model of confessing the state of your spirit, with hope of reaching humble, trusting, and honest questions—by God’s grace and with His help. Convey all of your sorrows to the Lord, who is ours, in full detail. And then, remember the answers that you have indeed received—of God’s sovereignty, mercy, and care, and His plans for this world. Have you not too received answers to the most important and eternal questions of your life from the Lord through His Word? 

When you do not have all of the answers to your questions, receive the full comfort of the answers you do possess. Pursue this comfort through humble, trusting, and honesty questions and expressions of lament before your great and good God, as the Scriptures teach.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/ipopba

Lianna Davis is author of Keeping the Faith: A Study in Jude and Made for a Different Land: Eternal Hope for Baby Loss. She and her husband, Tyler, live outside of Dallas, Texas and have two dear daughters.