Lessons in Gratitude from an Unlikely Source: The Egyptian Cupbearer

When we meditate on biblical gratitude, we often either turn to the Psalms or point to a person who expressed their thankfulness to God – like Hannah after the birth of Samuel. However, everyone in the Bible did not express their thankfulness appropriately, or sometimes even at all.

People today are no different than they were in biblical days. They are greedy, self-serving, or even just forgetful.

When Joseph, son of Jacob, was in an Egyptian jail for a crime he did not commit, he interpreted a dream for two men. One of the men was eventually in a place to show his gratitude to Joseph, but he forgot for a long time.

As much as Christians like to learn lessons from the things people did right in the Bible, it is just as important to learn from the mistakes people made. The cupbearer serves as an example of forgetfulness and ingratitude, but also the importance of making it right when the opportunity presents itself, no matter how long it has been since the inciting incident.

What Is the Story of the Forgetful Cupbearer?

Genesis introduces the reader to the cupbearer in chapter 40. By this point, Genesis has covered the creation of the world, the fall of man, the flood, and from there follows the beginning and growth of a family with a unique relationship with God. The patriarchs were Abraham, then Isaac, then Jacob, whom God renamed Israel.

The latter had twelve sons, one of whom was his favorite: Joseph. The other eleven brothers turned against that brother, selling him into slavery in Egypt. Because God was with him, Joseph succeeded at everything he tried during his time working for the Egyptian official Potiphar. But when he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit, Joseph was thrown into prison. There he met a baker and a cupbearer from Pharaoh’s court, each of whom had a dream about their fates. Joseph interpreted the dreams, which led to the baker being executed and the cupbearer returning to court. The Bible records:

“Then Joseph said to him, ‘This is its interpretation: the three branches are three days. In three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your office, and you shall place Pharaoh's cup in his hand as formerly, when you were his cupbearer.  Only remember me, when it is well with you, and please do me the kindness to mention me to Pharaoh, and so get me out of this house. … On the third day, which was Pharaoh's birthday, he made a feast for all his servants and lifted up the head of the chief cupbearer and the head of the chief baker among his servants. He restored the chief cupbearer to his position, and he placed the cup in Pharaoh's hand.  But he hanged the chief baker, as Joseph had interpreted to them. Yet the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him” (Genesis 40:12-14, 20-23).

It wasn’t until many years later that the cupbearer remembered Joseph and mentioned him to Pharaoh. In the moment that his life was spared, he left the prison, and whatever thankfulness he felt was not enough to compel him to act on Joseph’s behalf.

What Can We Learn from the Cupbearer?

Despite being an individual whose name did not even make it into the Bible, there is still much we can learn from him.

1. Gratitude Is as Much an Act of Will as an Emotion

The Bible doesn’t speak to the cupbearer’s emotions when he was released, or during his time serving the Pharaoh back at court. Whatever he felt in his heart, it wasn’t enough for him to express his gratitude through action until he was reminded of Joseph when Pharoh had a dream.

If we are to live in thankfulness, and “Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18a) it must be done in action as much as it is felt.

2. We Don’t Always Feel Thankful the Way We Should

Even if the cupbearer felt thankful for Joseph at times, it probably wasn’t proportionate to the level of comfort brought by Joseph’s willingness to interpret the dream from God. There are times when, for whatever reason, we may not always feel thankful. Or maybe we do not have the right level of gratitude in the moments after something happens. This can be brought on for banal reasons such as stress or illness, or because people are fundamentally selfish, especially without the Lord.

3. It Is Never Too Late to Say Thank You and Show Gratitude

Even though the cupbearer forgot to be thankful in the moment, when an opportunity presented itself years later, he followed through.

“And Pharaoh awoke, and behold, it was a dream. So in the morning his spirit was troubled, and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt and all its wise men. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but there was none who could interpret them to Pharaoh. Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, ‘I remember my offenses today’” (Genesis 41:7b-9).

The cupbearer told Pharaoh about Joseph, which led to his release from prison. 

What Can We Learn from Joseph?

While there are many lessons from Joseph’s life, this moment has unique ones to teach.

1. We Can’t Be Bitter against God When People Fail Us

Despite being repeatedly let down by the people around him – including the cupbearer – Joseph did not allow those disappointments to come between him and God. There is no record of Joseph turning to God and shaking his fist in disappointment, or blaming God because other people let him down. He chose faithfulness and trust in the Lord, even when other people didn’t appreciate what he did for them.

2. When Someone Is Thankful, Accept It

Some may not turn against God when people don’t show thankfulness, but they may turn on other people. Joseph could have resented the Egyptians for failing him over and over. He worked hard for Potiphar, for the jailer, and helped the cupbearer, but they all let him down.

When the cupbearer finally expressed his gratitude by remembering to tell Pharaoh and freeing Joseph, Joseph not only interpreted Pharaoh’s dream but obeyed God and helped protect Egypt from the coming famine. He didn’t hold a grudge against the cupbearer.

3. Thankfulness Is a State of Being

While there are moments when we will feel particularly grateful, we should strive to be thankful all the time, or as often as possible. Because of God’s goodness, we can always find something for which we should have gratitude.

Despite all the difficulties of his life, Joseph looked for the goodness of God. When he was reunited with his brothers he said, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:20). Joseph was thankful for the trials, including the cupbearer forgetting him, because it meant years later he was able to help all of Egypt, and more importantly, his family. 

Gratitude can be a hard emotion to tap into; people are, by nature, selfish and self-centered. Even Christians can be focused on themselves and fail to be thankful to God or others for favors, blessings, and generosity. When people let Christians down with a lack of thankfulness, they can forget that God calls them to forgiveness. They may use it as an excuse to be bitter or to walk away from someone.

The story of Joseph and the cupbearer is a good reminder of how gratitude and generosity are practiced, and that with the help of the Holy Spirit, it can become a more natural part of our being. 

“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2).

Sources

Emadi, Samuel. From Prisoner to Prince. eBook: Intervarsity Press, 2022.
Wiersbe, Warren. The Wiersbe Study Bible Genesis 25-50 Exhibiting Faith in the Real World. Colorado Springs: David C Cook, 2012.
Wright, Christopher. Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit. Downers Grove: IVP Books, 2017.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Bohdan Bevz

Bethany Verrett is a freelance writer who uses her passion for God, reading, and writing to glorify God. She and her husband have lived all over the country serving their Lord and Savior in ministry. She has a blog on graceandgrowing.com.