A WORD TO EXTROVERTS

Some of us undoubtedly will feel anxious about seeking solitude. A friend and colleague I mentioned earlier, Patrick Sehl, said to me, “Of all of the exercises you’ve taught me over the years, this one is the hardest for me.” Patrick is an extrovert; he loves to be with people and doesn’t like to be alone. He also, by his admission, struggles with attention deficit—his mind runs all over the place. As long as he is with other people or working on projects, his mind stays focused. But when in solitude, his thought life spins out of control. Over the years I’ve learned that people like Patrick are in the majority.

For introverts—people who find great peace and comfort in solitude—being alone for an hour or two is a joy. One woman in a class I taught said, “Is that all—one to two hours? I usually need five hours of solitude to really connect with God.” Personality type and individual temperament play a significant role in solitude, perhaps more than for any other spiritual exercise.

This does not mean that extroverts should try to avoid solitude. Quite the opposite. The difference is in the approach. If you’re like Patrick, give yourself a lot of grace in the beginning. Start with only five to ten minutes at a time. Grab a cup of something good to drink, take a seat and relax, be still for as long as you’re able. While you’re experiencing solitude, feel free to have background music playing or to have a simple task to keep you focused, like doing the laundry, ironing or washing the dishes. Do not be legalistic about this. If you get uncomfortable, say a prayer of thanks and go back to whatever you were previously doing. The aim is to help you learn how to be more comfortable alone with yourself and God.

YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST16

During your time of solitude you might want to read the following verses about our identity in Christ. Read a verse slowly and spend a few minutes reflecting on it. Don’t rush or try to accomplish anything. Just allow your mind to dwell on the truths of the Bible regarding your true identity. This will focus your thoughts and deepen the truths discussed in this chapter.

• I am God’s child: “But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

• I have been justified, and have peace with God: “Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)

• I am free from condemnation: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

• I am alive together with Jesus: “And when you were dead in trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive together with him, when he forgave us all our trespasses.” (Colossians 2:13)

• I cannot be separated from God’s love: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

• I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm: “God . . . raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:4, 6)

• I am in the Spirit, not the flesh: “But you are not in the flesh; you are in the Spirit.” (Romans 8:9)

• Jesus is my life: “When Christ who is your life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory.” (Colossians 3:4)

• I am being transformed into the image of Christ: “And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

FOR REFLECTION

Whether you are going through this material alone or with others, the following questions might be helpful as you reflect on your experience. Either way, it might be a good idea to answer these questions in your journal. If you are meeting with a group, bring your journal with you to help you remember your insights as you share your experiences.

1. 1. Were you able to practice the exercise this week? If so, describe what you did and how you felt about it.

2. 2. What, if anything, did you learn about God or yourself through the exercise?

3. 3. Solitude allows us to grow in the ability to “take off our masks” and simply be who we truly are in the presence of God. Would that describe your experience with this exercise? Explain.