Song Of Songs 5
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CHAPTER 5
Love’s Consummation (5:1)
1 In this verse, Solomon records love’s consummation on his wedding night: I have come into my garden. The climax of the first four chapters has been reached.
In the last part of verse 1, friends of the newly wedded couple affirm their marital bliss. This reminds us that weddings are not private affairs; when a man marries a woman, there are social and legal implications. The status of both bride and groom changes forever:they belong to each other morally, legally, and spiritually. And friends and family—witnesses—need to be present at a wedding to confirm and to support this change, this uniting of two into one.
Separation (5:2–16)
2–8 For many, these are the most profound and challenging verses in the Song of Songs. Some time after the wedding night (verse 1), something happens which mars the loving relationship between husband and wife. These verses may describe a dream or they may describe an actual event; either way, their message is the same.
Verses 2–8 present a very real picture of human love:we experience supreme ecstasy one moment and deep pain the next. With joy and oneness there comes fear and misunderstanding. Here the new wife is in bed (in dream or in reality) and her husband knocks on the door of their room (verse 2). He has been out on some business and now returns to the comfort of his marriage bed. His wife, however, is all clean and about to fall asleep. The husband’s arrival is not convenient, and she tells him so (verse 3). Therefore he leaves, hurt and disappointed.
But almost at once the wife realizes her mistake. She applies fragrant lotion to her hands and rushes to open the door to her lover—but he was gone (verse 6). Distraught,she runs out into the night to search for him. The night watchmen find her and beat her (verse 7)—we are not told why. She cries out to the daughters of Jerusalem, asking them to tell her husband that she loves him: I am faint with love (verse 8).
Why is this such an important passage? First of all, it shows us how the smallest mistake—laziness, hesitancy, lack of consideration—can damage a loving relationship. If we immediately confess our mistake and seek forgiveness, the relationship is not permanently harmed. To her credit, Solomon’s wife did seek to repair the damage at once; but such misunderstandings are always painful. The greater the love, the greater the pain.
The second reason this passage is important is because it teaches us a profound spiritual truth. The husband knocking at the door is a picture of Christ knocking at the “door” of our hearts (Revelation 3:20). When we feel the promptings of His Spirit, the “quiet voice” that speaks to our conscience, we must respond at once. Too often we hesitate, we rationalize, we ignore the Spirit’s voice; and when we finally “go to the door,” He is not there. The Spirit has been grieved (Ephesians 4:30) and has withdrawn. Countless Christians can testify that the secret of living in fellowship with God is to always remain sensitive to His voice and to respond to Him without delay. The fruitfulness of one’s Christian life depends on it.
9–16 As with verses 2–8, it’s not clear whether these verses are the continuation of the bride’s dream or the continuation of an actual event; either way, our understanding of the verses is not affected. Some friends (daughters of Jerusalem) ask the bride what’s so special about her husband (verse 9). And she is happy to answer in detail (verses 10–16).
The description the bride gives here is not necessarily related to the appearance or physical shape of her husband’s body; rather, it is meant to describe the sensuous effects his body produces in her mind. At the end, the bride says: This is my lover this my friend (verse 16). Marital love does not consist only of erotic feelings; far more important, it consists of friendship—mutual commitment, self-denial, and self-sacrifice. Jesus is our supreme model of love—for both the married and the unmarried. Our married lives should reflect His love for us, His love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25). Our spouse is our lover and our friend, for whom we would gladly lay down our life (John 15:12–13).