Consequences: The King in Jeopardy

2 Samuel 13–14

Main Idea: King David, unfortunately, has much in his life to teach us about the painful consequences of sin.

1. David’s Sin: The Headwater of Family Dysfunction
2. From Family Dysfunction to Family Destruction (13:1–14:24)
3. From Family Destruction to National Unraveling (14:25-33)

Introduction

The doctrines of sin and redemption can be complicated—for non-Christians, of course, but also for many Christians. One problem nearly every pastor can attest to encountering is the confusion of sin’s punishment and its consequences. When sin creates a rift in our lives or in the lives of those in our congregations, the response is often bewilderment. Hasn’t Jesus conquered sin? we think. Why is this still so damaging? What we are struggling with in those moments is distinguishing the punishment for our sin from the natural consequences of it. And while Jesus absorbs sin’s punishments, He does not always remove every consequence.

This may seem obvious enough, but it is remarkable how frequently the consequences of sin catch us by surprise. But how could it be otherwise? Imagine getting in a fight with your friend—over, say, a sports feud—in which the altercation came to fisticuffs. After a few days both of you calmed down, came together, and forgave each other. But your busted lip and black eye are testament that forgiveness doesn’t automatically remove the consequence of sin.

King David, unfortunately, has much in his life to teach us about the painful consequences of sin. What we see throughout the later years of his life is a series of excruciatingly painful episodes that grow out of his sin with Bathsheba in chapter 11 and God’s verdict on it in chapter 12. And while David found grace, the consequences were still real.

David’s Sin: The Headwater of Family Dysfunction

Having been called out by the prophet Nathan for his sinful affair with Bathsheba, David responded with repentance. His prayer of confession in Psalm 51 stands as a beautiful paradigm of godly grief over sin and confident hope in God’s redemption. Nathan even confirms that David’s prayer has been answered, telling him, “The Lord has taken away your sin; you will not die” (2 Sam 12:13). After David’s blatant adultery, series of lies, and mass murder, this was certainly good news.

Yet Nathan also brings some bad news. Because of David’s sin, three negative consequences will emerge. First, “the sword will never leave your house” (12:10). David had previously enjoyed military victory and a measure of peace, but his sin would now mean a lifetime of war, anxiety, and strife. Second, his wives will be unfaithful to him (12:11). This is a fitting, albeit gut-wrenching, consequence for a man who was unfaithful to his own wife. Third, the son born to him from this affair will die (12:14). We may wish that our sin did not have ripple effects into the lives of other people. But even the most cursory of reflections reveals that this is true. The alcoholic who chooses liquor over his family, the porn addict who chooses an online thrill over marital fidelity, the troubled youth who one day acts on his violent fantasies—sin harms not only us but also the lives of innocent others.

Losing a newborn child is tragic, nearly beyond the capacity of human words to express. But to lose a newborn because of your sin is devastating. This is what David is faced with and what comes to pass by the end of chapter 12. Sadly this one death was just the beginning of a precipitous spiral into family dysfunction.

From Family Dysfunction to Family Destruction

2 Samuel 13:1–14:24

The following five chapters depict a level of family strife that would top that of most American households. The litany of sins is disgusting—incest, sexual abuse, murder, rape, adultery, murder, substance abuse, theft, and more murder. Destruction follows destruction, violence begets violence, until the entire thread of God’s grace seems to disappear. God is still at work in this dark time, but the consequences of sin are running their due course.

By chapter 13, David’s oldest son, Amnon, develops a perverse crush on his stepsister Tamar. The text tells us that he wants her so badly he can’t even eat. Eventually his lust gets the better of him, and he hatches a plot to get Tamar alone. Despite Tamar’s protests, Amnon rapes her. The scene that follows conforms to a familiar pattern in sexual abuse. “Amnon hated Tamar,” the text tells us, “with such intensity that the hatred he hated her with was greater than the love he had loved her with” (2 Sam 13:15). The man (or woman) driven by lust is not consumed with desire for a person but for a selfish pleasure. Once the pleasure is grasped, the person is discarded. As C. S. Lewis put it, “How much he [the lustful man] cares about the woman as such may be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition (one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes)” (The Four Loves, 94).

Sure enough, after getting the sexual pleasure he was after, Amnon cannot even bring himself to refer to Tamar by name. “Throw this woman out and bolt the door behind her!” (13:17). This woman. Not only is this an insult to Tamar’s personhood, but it should also be a familiar phrase to the reader. When David saw Bathsheba from his roof, literally he inquired about “the woman” (ESV). When David’s servants tried to remind David that what he saw was not merely a beautiful woman but Bathsheba, a woman with a name, a father, and a husband, he brushed them aside. What David saw was an object for his pleasure. And now Amnon, David’s son, is repeating David’s sin. The sin sown by the father is harvested in the child.

Where is David in all this? He seems completely disconnected and not because he’s off in battle with his troops. He is actually right there in the city with his children—he unwittingly helps orchestrate the fateful meeting between Amnon and Tamar. But when it comes to the life of his kids, David is clueless. Even when David finds out about Tamar’s rape, he does nothing. The man who had stood up to the giant Goliath does nothing to avenge his little girl.

David’s passivity sets the scene for the next outbreak of familial damage. Another of David’s sons, Absalom, finds out about what happened to his sister Tamar. He responds as David should have, by showing compassion on Tamar and welcoming her into his home after her rape (13:20). But he also watches as his father responds to horror with silence (v. 21). What a disappointment that must have been! Absalom had grown up hearing stories of David’s heroism and courage. His father was his hero. And at this crucial moment, when courage and heroism were most required, David was nowhere to be found. So Absalom decides he will take matters into his own hands. Amnon must die.

Absalom’s plot to kill Amnon is remarkably patient (13:22-29). He must have known Amnon might suspect violence initially, so instead of attacking Amnon in the immediate aftermath, he plans a scheme that will take a full two years. He believed back then what they say nowadays: revenge is a dish best served cold. But in the end the result was the same as if Absalom had assaulted Amnon the next day. He got Amnon drunk and had him murdered. Note again the parallels with David’s story. David had tried (unsuccessfully) to cover up his affair by getting Uriah drunk. And when that did not work, he had Uriah murdered. Once again the sin sown by the father is harvested in the child.

After Absalom murders Amnon, he flees for his life. For three years he remains in exile. David knows where he is this whole time but never once goes to him or even sends word to him. Eventually Joab, the captain of David’s army, reaches out to bring Absalom back (14:1-23). But even then, when Absalom was in the palace itself, David refused to see him. “He may return to his house, but he may not see my face” (v. 24).

David’s family is in shambles at this point, but each successive tragedy is preventable. Had David been more involved, he could have prevented Amnon from acting on his perverse desires. Had David gone to Tamar after her assault, he could have prevented Absalom from avenging his sister’s death. Even now, with all this death and destruction in the rear view, David could still stem further damage. If he would reach out to Absalom, he could prevent him from descending further into darkness. Sadly, once again, David does nothing.

The greatest temptation men face, then as now, is not to outright wickedness but to the smoother—and equally destructive—path of apathy and inaction. When we look around at the family situation in the United States today, we are grieved by the failure of fathers to fulfill the role God has given them. In some instances this manifests in outright abuse. But far more often it manifests in absent dads, men who would rather know what is happening on ESPN than in the lives of their sons and daughters. Were most of the men in our churches to show the same level of apathy in their jobs as they do in their home lives, they would have been fired long ago.

From Family Destruction to National Unraveling

2 Samuel 14:25-33

Unfortunately, David remains stuck in passivity. Perhaps he was nursing old wounds, wallowing in self-pity. Perhaps he was busying himself with other kingly duties. Either way, his failure to act would result in further destruction. Now, instead of just watching his own family unravel, his apathy would lead to the unraveling of a nation. Absalom is a ticking time bomb, and the question is not if but only when and how he will explode.

It begins, in 14:29-30, with a seemingly petty act of vandalism. Absalom, frustrated that his father continues to give him the cold shoulder, decides that he will act up to get his dad’s attention. So he takes a few torches and goes after the fields of Joab, David’s right-hand man. In short order Joab’s fields are ablaze. David may not have much cared to reconcile with his son, but at this point Joab has been given renewed motivation. Joab becomes, once again, the primary agent attempting to get David and Absalom to settle their feud.

Joab is able to get Absalom back into King David’s presence, but all is not well in Jerusalem. Like most dysfunctional families these two never address the five years of silence or the heinous acts that precipitated them. They gloss over the deeper issues—a tactic that never ends well.

David, for his part, should have known better. His failure to address Tamar’s rape enraged Absalom to begin with. Now he is confronted with the same hotheaded son, a son who is still seething and liable to do tremendous violence. But David’s response is the same. Sadly so is Absalom’s.

Absalom begins to plot an armed revolution to take the kingdom from his father (ch. 15). We have already seen how savvy Absalom can be when hatching a devious plot, and his coup proves once again how resourceful the young man is. He parks himself outside David’s palace and gradually begins to steal away devotees to King David by adjudicating their disputes for them. Absalom’s silver tongue disparages David’s capacity to rule with justice while simultaneously implying that, if he were in charge, he would set things right. Thus, right under David’s nose, “Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel” (15:6). When the time was right, he rose up and took the capital by storm. David and his loyalists were forced to flee. As we will see, this is the red-eyed beast of ambition rearing its ugly head in Absalom’s life and is the outworking of David’s passivity.

Reflect and Discuss

1. How does this passage help you understand God?
2. How does this passage of Scripture exalt Jesus?
3. How does this passage reveal David’s failure as king?
4. How does David’s sin with Bathsheba produce even more significant rotten fruit in David’s family?
5. What does it do to your heart to read and hear of Tamar’s violation? What do you think of the way David handled that violation?
6. Is Absalom’s action understandable, even if not justified? Why or why not?
7. How does David’s passivity in his family affect his entire nation?
8. Many readers will experience the story of Tamar with painful memories. Take time to reflect that pain and hurt back to God in prayer.
9. Do you believe Jesus gives honor and healing? Give thanks that Jesus restores honor and beauty and brings joy back into battered and wounded lives.
10. Is the dangerous trait of apathy creeping into your life? Take time to repent of this and turn once again to Jesus.