Pursuing Godliness: The Roles of Men and Women in the Church

Older women were to "encourage," "admonish" (NKJV), or "train" (ESV), to counsel and advise the younger women "to love their husbands." Interestingly, this is the only time in the Bible where a woman is encouraged to love her husband, the man in her life. Husbands of course receive multiple and detailed instruction in this regard (Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19). Paul was concerned that a woman's first commitment under the lordship of Jesus Christ was to her husband and her marriage. The way a couple loves each other will model for the children the way they should love their future spouses. The fact is, we do not so much "fall in love" as we "learn to love." What a great thing it is for daughters to learn how to love their future husbands by watching their mother love their dad!

Few things are more natural for a mother than loving her children. However, a young mother must move beyond her natural innate affection to a specific lifestyle and plan of action that will cultivate in her children godly character and affection. Proverbs 29:15 says, "A rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a youth left to himself is a disgrace to his mother." The most important way a mother can love her children is to love them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord. As she loves them physically, emotionally, educationally, morally, socially, and spiritually, she always has her eye on their need for Christ. In word and deed, she gently and with sensitivity puts before them the love of God and the work of Christ. She speaks to her child with grace and wisdom sharing with him or her the grace, mercy, and claims of Jesus Christ. Her greatest joy and most awesome heritage is godly children devoted to Jesus and His plan and purpose for their lives.261

Young women should also be sensible or "self-controlled." Paul again challenges a particular group in the church to exercise common sense and good judgment. The best way to learn this is to see it up close and personal in the life of another. Young women will best learn to exercise balance and wisdom in their lives as they observe it in the lives of older, more mature women.

God calls a young woman to be "pure." Her moral life is above reproach, and she is by life and reputation a one-man kind of woman. She is faithful to her marriage vows and sexually gives herself to only one man, her husband. The man in her life trusts her and is confident in her. The God she serves sees His own character reflected in her life as it radiates forth from a heart surrendered to Jesus.

This lady is to be a good homemaker, "busy at home" (NIV). Her home is her primary base of operation and the main focus of her attention. Proverbs 31:10-31 teaches us that a diligent homemaker may be involved in a wide range of activities and interests. She is not lazy or a busybody, nor is she distracted by outside pursuits and responsibilities that eat up her precious time and attention. This woman is not seduced by the sirens of modernity who tell her she is wasting her time and talent as a homemaker and that it is the career woman who has purpose and is truly satisfied. The recent trend in women leaving the workplace and returning home has become too noticeable to be ignored. It is a reflection of what God planted in the heart of a wife and mother when He made her a female in His image. The blessings and joy she will discover as a wife, mother, and homemaker can never be matched by a career that in the end cannot make good on its promises. Being a homemaker is not an institutionalized form of bondage and slavery. It is the greatest context for a woman to experience liberation and liberty as she is set free by the plan of God to be the woman God created and saved her to be.

The word "kind" (or good) may modify "homemakers" or stand alone. A young woman should be kind. Simply said, she is to be like Jesus. She262 is to be gentle and considerate, gracious and merciful, even to those who may not treat her the same way. She is a "good woman" as the Bible defines good.

In keeping with what is said consistently throughout the New Testament (Eph 5:21-24; Col 3:18; 1 Pet 3:1-5), wives were encouraged to be "submissive to their husbands, so that God's message will not be slandered." Submission means to yield in one's will to the leadership and direction of another. It is more of an attitude than an action, though one's attitude will certainly determine one's actions. Contrary to popular misconceptions, there is no inferiority in submissiveness. We see this plainly in the Trinity where Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are all equally God, and yet for the purpose of redemption, the Son submits in His assignment to the Father. Note also that a wife submits to her own husband, not every man. This charge is specific. Indeed, unless a husband asks his wife to do something unbiblical, illegal, immoral, or unethical, she is to follow his leadership. By doing this she will honor God and His Word, and she will reach, in a more effective manner, the heart of her husband.

Pursue God's Assignment as a Younger Man

Titus 2:6-8

Paul then addresses the fourth group, younger men. The implication is that they would be instructed in the way they should live by Titus and other older men who would provide the encouragement and the example they needed. Younger men need strong, healthy role models provided by older men. In an article in the South China Post, Dr. Peter Karl writes,

Paul recognizes the need younger men have for godly mentoring, and so he instructs them in a pattern of discipleship that would promote godly character, conviction, and commitment.263

"Encourage" is a present imperative, giving it the force of a command that is continually to be set before the younger men. Like the others they are encouraged to be sensible, "self-controlled in everything." This means they are in control of their lives, thoughts, and passions. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life." The self-controlled man actively engages the battle for the mind, knowing that he must control and discipline his thought life if he is to win the battles of the Christian life.

Addressing Titus once again as he also speaks to the younger men, Paul tells him, "Make yourself an example of good works." The Greek word for "example" gives us our English word "type." Titus was to be a type or mold "into which others can be impressed and therefore bear a likeness to him" (Mounce, Pastoral Epistles, 413). The great preacher from Antioch, John Chrysostom, said, "Let the luster of your life be a common school of instruction, a pattern of virtue to all." Young men should be on the lookout for godly men they can emulate, men they can pattern their life after.

Young men must not be fooled into following false doctrine. They must exhibit "integrity and dignity in [their] teaching." The focus falls here more on "how" one teaches than "what" one teaches. Both are essential of course, but purity in motive and authenticity in manner is what Paul was after. A life of moral integrity must accompany the teaching ministry. Content and character, logos and ethos go together and must complement each other if the truth is to be taught without compromise and corruption.

Integrity in doctrine comes from a pure vessel that pours forth "sound" or healthy speech. Paul charged Titus in this way: "Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be ashamed, having nothing bad to say about us." The pure word from a pure vessel is not subject to legitimate condemnation or criticism. In fact, those who criticize such faithful and holy teachers will eventually shame themselves264 because their accusations are without merit or substance. Hughes and Chapell say, "There should be a multiplication of silencers as the godly influence of Titus spreads among the young men and helps to heal the embattled church" (1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, 332). The gospel in our own day has been subjected to a great deal of ridicule. Far too often the cause of offense has not been the message but the messenger. If persons refuse to come to Christ, let it be the message they say no to, not the messenger who, because of a shameful life, clouds and even hides the purity of the Word of salvation.

Conclusion

The implications of the gospel are for every person and every area of life. In this passage this is demonstrated by the application of "sound teaching" to both men and women, calling them to lives of godliness and discipleship. When we carefully consider the whole of biblical revelation and its implications concerning the issue of the role of men and women in the church and the work of the Lord, several important conclusions need to be affirmed and applauded.

First, both man and woman are created in God's image, equal before Him as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood.

Second, differences in masculine and feminine roles both in the home and in the church are ordained by God as part of His good plan for His good creation. This is intended for God's glory and our good.

Third, the fall in Genesis 3 introduced distortions into the relationship between men and women with tragic consequences. As it relates to the church, sin leads men toward a worldly love of power on the one hand or to the abdication of spiritual responsibility on the other. With respect to women, sin inclines them either to resist the parameters established by God for their assignments or to neglect the use of their gifts in appropriate and God-honoring ministries.

Fourth, redemption through the perfect atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ aims at removing the distortions introduced by the curse and the fall.

Fifth, in the Lord's church, redemption in Christ gives men and women equal rights and an equal share in the blessings of salvation. These rights and blessings are in perfect accord with the leadership and teaching assignments within the church given only to men. The role of the pastor-teacher is an office restricted to men.265

Sixth, the God-given desire to serve the Lord that resonates both in men and in women should never be used to set aside the clear biblical pattern for ministry established by God in His Word. Seventh, billions of persons live without the knowledge of the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ. Countless other lost people live within those cultures that have heard the gospel. There are the heartbreak and miseries of sickness, malnutrition, homelessness, illiteracy, aging, drug and alcohol addictions, crime, incarceration, depression, and loneliness. Given this urgent need, no man or woman, boy or girl, having a God-given passion to make God's amazing grace known in word and deed, ever has to live without a vital and fulfilling ministry for the glory of God and the good of others in this fallen world.

Every child of God is called to proclaim the gospel to the lost. Every child of God is called to minister the Word. Every child of God is called to help the hurting. Every child of God at some time needs a mentor and is called to be a mentor. For the honor of Jesus and the sake of human souls, let us all be about the business of doing what God created us and saved us to do: His work, His way, and always for the praise of His Name.26 This is God's assignment for both men and women in the church.