The Family of God

We need to think about the specific situation being addressed in Ephesus, for it seems clear from 2 Timothy 3 and 1 Timothy 2 that widows, particularly younger widows, were causing divisions and problems in the church. These issues appear to be in Paul's mind as he was addressing the matter of widows in 1 Timothy 5. This particular context can present somewhat of a challenge as we seek to understand how this81 text applies to Christians today. So we will examine in a straightforward manner what Paul was saying to Timothy and the church at Ephesus in that setting, and then we'll address what this passage means for us today.

In verse 3 Paul makes clear that we are to honor destitute widows through support. The fact that he said to honor those who are "truly widows" meant that some qualifications must be met. Paul didn't simply tell the church to care for every known widow in the world at the time. Instead, he specifically addressed the need to care for widows in the church, especially those needing support. Let's look at some of the specific qualifications Paul mentions. First, they must be devoid of relatives. Verses 4-5 refer to a widow who is truly alone with no physical family to support her.

Before moving on to other qualifications, we can draw several conclusions from this first one. Relatives should support their parents and grandparents. This means a widow's children and grandchildren have the primary responsibility to care for her. The biblical mandate to Christian children of aging parents is clear: support your parents and your grandparents. Verse 4 tells us that "this pleases God," and in verse 8 we learn that this demonstrates your faith. Paul said that those who did not provide for their own household had "denied the faith." Caring for aging parents is a fundamental display of Christ's love in and through you, so to fail in this area is to deny your faith in Christ. In other words, the Bible is saying that it is impossible for a Christian not to care for the members of his own household. Finally, caring for widows in one's own family is good because this relieves the church. The church is not intended to be the first line of defense for widows. Family is to take the lead on this wherever possible, with the church making up the second line of defense. In summary, when relatives care for their aging parents, it pleases God, demonstrates their faith, and relieves the church.

The second qualification for widows who receive support is that they must depend on God. Verse 5 says of the "real widow," referring to those who qualify for support from the church, that she has "put her hope in God." And this God-centered hope leads to the third qualification for widows, namely, they must be devoted to prayer. She "continues night and day in her petitions and prayers." She is not self-indulgent but Christ centered. This is a wonderful picture of a Christian widow with a unique ministry of prayer. I can't help but think of an 84-year-old widow named Anna in Luke 2:36-38. Luke highlights her devotion: "She did82 not leave the temple complex, serving God night and day with fasting and prayers." Author Susan Hunt's words are applicable here:

Paul was primarily referring to older widows who didn't have the responsibilities of raising children or doing many of the things younger women were responsible for. Older widows were freed up for even greater concentrated time in prayer. Based on Paul's instructions in 1 Timothy 5, widows in the church who are in similar life settings should devote themselves to the ministry of prayer and intercession. This is a deeper level of intimacy with God that is unhindered by their previous responsibilities to husbands and children. Churches should support such widows financially, physically, and in other ways as needed.

Next Paul tells us that we not only support destitute widows, but we must also enlist older widows for service. Verse 9 talks about widows who are placed on the "list," and there's some debate about whether he is referring to enrolling widows on a "support list" or referring to how older widows can be enrolled in unique service to the church. While the HCSB translation adopted the former view, the latter is the majority view of biblical scholars, and it seems to be warranted by the context of what Paul is addressing here. He is calling older widows to service in the church, and much like what we saw in chapter 3 concerning elders and deacons, he is putting qualifications on those who might serve in this kind of official capacity.

Concerning women who are to be enrolled as widows, Paul says first that they must be mature women. He's referring to their age, since these women had to be "at least 60 years old." This is probably not a hard-and-fast rule but more likely a reference to women who are beyond the ability to work and support themselves. These women are less likely to remarry. Next Paul says that they must have been faithful wives, literally a "one-man woman." In addition, they must care for children (v. 10).83 This doesn't mean a barren widow is disqualified but simply that she has honored God through care for children with the unique gifts God has given her. Other qualifications for widows in verse 10 include the following: they must be hospitable hosts, they must be humble servants, they must be unselfish, and they must be kind. Paul was saying that there is a unique and wonderful opportunity for widows who meet these qualifications to serve in the church in significant ways. He was calling widows to maximize their time on earth through service in the church, while at the same time he was calling the church to honor widows by supporting them in this service.

In verse 11 Paul turns his attention to younger widows, where he instructs the church to encourage younger widows to marry. We need to remember at this point that Paul was addressing circumstances that were specific to Ephesus. We know this is the case because there are other times, such as 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (see also 1 Tim 5:14) when Paul encouraged singles to stay single. However, 1 Timothy 4:3 seems to indicate that false teachers were telling the church to avoid marriage, which goes against God's design. As a result, there were women, including younger widows, who were causing problems in the church. Paul gave such women two very pointed exhortations.

First, they must avoid laziness. Paul warns that younger widows "learn to be idle" (v. 13), and this easily becomes an occasion for sin. We don't typically think of laziness as a sin, but it is. And it leads to a number of other sins. Second, concerning younger widows, they must abhor gossip (v. 13b). Paul is obviously addressing general temptations that all people face, such as laziness and gossiping, but he is pointing out that younger widows are particularly susceptible to these kinds of sins, and they were likely giving in to them in Ephesus at this time. Young widows and all believers must flee such sin and seek to glorify God in whatever situation He has placed them.

Paul's instructions have a number of practical applications. Churches have a clear responsibility to support widows who are devoid of relatives, dependent on God, and devoted to prayer. This is non-negotiable. However, there are differences between younger and older widows; for instance, younger widows are more likely to remarry than older widows. Whether or not younger widows choose to remarry, they must avoid idleness and gossip. For older widows, if they choose not to remarry, they should be devoted to seeking the Lord diligently in prayer and in service to the church with the unique opportunity God has given84 them. Their time can and should be used for the good of the church and the spread of the gospel.

Is your church intentionally caring for widows? If not, what steps could you take as a body of believers to obey this passage? Are there widows in your own life that you need to reach out to and support? May the gospel of Christ compel us to look out for the most vulnerable among us. May we see our churches not simply as places where individuals gather but as families of faith who take care of one another with particular concern for orphans and widows.