Jesus, the Bible, Divorce, and Remarriage

Matthew 19:3-12 says,

Some Pharisees approached [Jesus] to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”

“Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and He also said:

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”

“Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?”

He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

His disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!”

But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”

Jesus affirms God’s original design for marriage. He states that divorce is the result of sin and the hardness of men’s hearts. He says divorce is permitted in a case of sexual immorality (viewed only in a Jewish “betrothal” context by some). He seems to imply permission to remarry though this is not clearly stated (19:9-12).

Mark 10:1-12 parallels Matthew 19:1-12. There is an important omission of the words “except for sexual immorality.” The omission is because either the betrothal view of Matthew 19 is correct and Mark (being written to Romans) would not need to address the exception, or Mark’s account is simply a summation of Matthew’s and assumes the exception.

Luke 16:18 states, “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” This is an even more concise account of the Matthew 19 and Mark 10 passages. The last point under Mark 10:1-12 also applies here.

According to Romans 7:1-3,

205Since I am speaking to those who understand law, brothers, are you unaware that the law has authority over someone as long as he lives? For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband. So then, if she gives herself to another man while her husband is living, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. Then, if she gives herself to another man, she is not an adulteress.

Paul reaffirms (like Jesus) God’s original design for marriage. The death of a spouse is the only instance in which God advocates remarriage. This is stated in 1 Corinthians 7:8-16, 39-40:

I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
...

A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

Paul affirms the positive nature of the single life. Paul says it is better to marry than to burn with lust (and possibly fall into sexual immorality). God’s desire for troubled marriages is always reconciliation. God’s desire for those separated in marriage is to be reconciled or remain separated. Desertion by an unbelieving spouse permits divorce and, it seems, grants permission for remarriage (some believe the summation of verses 39-40 rules out remarriage).

Our goal must be to be biblical and not emotional. We should also emphasize prevention and not be reactionary. The latter is difficult, especially for those who have experienced the pain of divorce in some way. One man joined to one woman for a lifetime is God’s perfect will for every marriage (Gen 2:18-25).

God hates divorce (Mal 2:13-16). God’s desire is that troubled marriages would always be reconciled. Divorce is never commanded or desired by God. Separation is sometimes wise (1 Cor 7:10-11).

I believe divorce may be biblically permissible in the cases of

Where reconciliation is not possible, permission to remarry in the Lord may be allowed (though it is not expressly stated).

Divorce and remarriage are not sanctioned for reasons other than sexual immorality or desertion by an unbeliever. Some counter that it would be better to remarry than to commit sexual immorality (1 Cor 7:9) or to be unduly burdened and oppressed in a single state (Deut 24:1-4). However, God commends a single status (1 Cor 7). Single people look to God in faith to provide self-control and to meet their needs.

1. Patristic (Church Fathers) View: The exception clause “except for sexual immorality” (fornication, porneia) in Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:9-10 qualifies only the verb “divorces” and not the remarriage clause. Divorce is allowed for adultery only. No remarriage is allowed. Those holding this view note the lack of any expressed statement for remarriage, and the nearness of the early church fathers to the apostles.

2. Protestant-Evangelical View: The exception clause qualifies both “divorces” and “marries another.” Divorce is allowed for adultery and desertion by an unbelieving spouse with no possibility of reconciliation. Remarriage to a believer is permissible for the innocent party. However, the reaction of the disciples in 19:10—“If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!”—does not seem to be explained as well by this view. This is also an argument from silence.

2073. Betrothal View: The exception clause means “premarital sexual intercourse” in the case of a betrothed couple. Jewish betrothal was a legal contract that could only be broken by divorce or death. It was more than an engagement but not a sexually consummated marriage. This view better explains the disciples’ reaction. Divorce is allowed only for unfaithfulness during the betrothal period. If adultery was committed after the marriage, then divorce was not allowed for any reason.

However, the technical meaning given to the phrase “sexual immorality” as “premarital sexual intercourse” is unknown elsewhere in the Bible or in Greek literature. The context of Deuteronomy 24, which is the Old Testament passage forming the foundation of Jesus’ statements in Matthew 5 and 19, implies a married wife. This view makes Matthew 19:7 and 8 refer to a married wife, while verse 9 is a betrothed wife. The context seems to point to a married wife in both cases.

4. Unlawful Marriage View: This view takes “sexual immorality” in the exception clause to refer to incestuous marriages. Divorce is allowed for those marriages within the prohibited degrees of kinship in Leviticus 18:6-18. Remarriage is usually not allowed, though there seem to be some differences of opinion. However, the technical meaning of “incest” given to “sexual immorality” does not fit the total context of the passage.

Jesus had already spoken on divorce for adultery. Paul takes up the Corinthians’ questions on the subject of divorce for desertion.

In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul says that a husband and a wife who are both Christians are not to divorce, but if they do, they are not to remarry. In verses 12-16, Paul addresses the problem of a saved spouse who is married to an unsaved spouse. If the unsaved party departs, the saved party is “not bound” in such cases. “Not bound” can mean: (1) free to divorce, (2) free to divorce and remarry, or (3) free to separate but not allowed to divorce and remarry.

As a result of the above survey, several biblical positions on the subject of divorce are possible today:

Dogmatism and certainty are not appropriate in an area where good and godly students who affirm the infallibility and inerrancy of the Bible hold differing views. Still, there are some things we can affirm based on Jesus’ words in Mark:

Now, to these clear statements in Mark 10:1-12, what else can we say about divorce and remarriage that is both prophetic and pastoral, instructive and redemptive?

The decision to marry is the second most important decision one will ever make. (The first is whether one will commit to Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.) Keeping this in mind, we commit to God, our minister, and each other to do the following:

With the above commitments made, we believe God will be honored and the prospects for a meaningful and happy marriage enhanced. With God’s help we will seek to honor God with our lives and marriage all the days of our lives.

Husband: _____________________________________________________

Wife: _____________________________________________________

Witness: _____________________________________________________