The Marriage Supper of Wisdom

Here is the wise teaching. Do not correct a mocker (ESV, “scoffer”) because you will just get hurt in the process, and the mocker will hate you (vv. 7-8). Correcting a mocker is a waste of time because he will not listen to you. It will have no effect on him. All you will receive are verbal attacks from him in return. You will be humiliated. There are some who will never listen to wise counsel and will never humbly submit to authority. On the other hand, you should correct a wise man. He will love you for it, and he will become wiser (vv. 8-9). A wise man is humble enough to know he needs correction.

So according to these verses, wisdom is the discernment to know whom to correct and whom not to correct. You do this by discerning the outcome. How will your correction be received? This is wisdom. Since Jesus is the Wisdom of God, that means being formed into Christlikeness is not just growing in a reduction of sinfulness, although that is part of it. It is also growth in discernment. Being like Jesus means having the ability to see the situation you are in. It means recognizing when to correct people and when not to correct them because it will only make things worse. It also means knowing when not to play the coward and to speak up and say something in the right situation.

There is also the implication in these verses that if you are the kind of person who cannot accept correction, you are a mocker. If you get angry when someone confronts you, you are a mocker. On the other hand, if you can humbly accept correction because you know you have not arrived, then you are wise, and you will love the person who had the courage to confront you. How do you respond to confrontation? Do you automatically get angry? Or do you listen and try to see the truth in it? Do you have any relationship where someone has the freedom to ask you tough questions? Wisdom is the ability to hear and respond correctly to criticism so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

The point of Proverbs 9 is that if you cannot accept a rebuke, it is not just because that is your personality type; it reveals idolatry in your life (perhaps worship of self). This is true in all kinds of practical areas that Proverbs touches on. If you are stingy, it reveals an idolatry of money. If you have a porn addiction, it reveals an idol of sex. If you cannot discipline your children, it might reveal that you have made your kids an idol.

The starting point for practical wisdom is a covenant relationship with Yahweh (the fear of the Lord; v. 10). You cannot be wise without this relationship. There is no secular and sacred divide in life. Covenantal faith in Yahweh will lead to balancing your checkbook, cleaning your room at your mom’s request, enjoying being with your family more than making money. If you cannot do these things, it is not just a character flaw; it is a spiritual problem.

This is the last time Wisdom talks. She urges you to pick wisdom, but it’s your choice. If you pick her, it will lead to life (v. 11). She will produce wisdom in you and reward you with longer life. But you are responsible to make your own decision, and how you live reveals which invitation you accepted.

Proverbs 9:13-18

The forbidden woman is now personified as Folly. Woman Folly is the power behind this forbidden woman. Embracing Woman Folly will lead to the same place as embracing the forbidden woman—the grave (5:5; 9:18). The forbidden woman epitomizes folly ( just like the noble wife epitomizes Woman Wisdom; ch. 31). This Woman Folly is a counterfeit who copies but perverts everything Wisdom does. Folly’s house is a temple too because it is at the highest point of the city (9:14). This is how we know that Folly stands for idols (Longman, Proverbs, 222). Turning away from Wisdom was characterized as unfaithfulness to God (1:32). One is unfaithful to God when one is whoring after idols. That’s exactly what’s happening here.

Woman Folly is loud, seductive, ignorant, and lazy (9:13-14). She will produce this in her followers. She invites everyone to her party (vv. 15-16). She calls out to the same crowd as Wisdom—those who lack heart. She says to turn in at her house, come to her party. Her meal is illicit. Her water is stolen, and her bread is to be eaten in secret. This may seem “tasty” (v. 17), but the way that seems right will not end well. Picking up on Proverbs 5:15, where water refers to sex, this seems to be an invitation to an affair. She’s not just offering food and drink; she’s offering herself as food and drink. She’s offering an illicit relationship that will lead to apostasy, to walking away from God. Solomon knows that sexual sin leads to abandoning God. We see that she seduces her victims by giving them half-truths. Yes, this affair will bring temporary pleasure, but she does not reveal the death that awaits them (v. 18). That’s what foolishness is. Foolishness is not seeing the connection between your actions and their consequences. Like a cow walking into a slaughterhouse, you don’t know that you’re about to become filet mignon. Her guests do not realize that accepting her invitation is accepting an invitation to their own funeral. They go into the grave (v. 18; “depths of Sheol”). There may be a destruction now like public shame, loss of family, or loss of money; but all of that is simply a foretaste of what’s to come—hell.

Proverbs 9 is the story of Wisdom sending out her servants to invite us to a meal—a party—that brings life instead of death. Proverbs says that those who eat this meal will be made wise. The New Testament says that Jesus is the Wisdom of God, and he invites us to a meal as well. He invites us to feast on him. Those who eat this meal—those who feast on Christ’s flesh and blood—will live and be a part of his kingdom. Christ’s meal is not for those who think they’re wise; it is for those who know they are fools and who want to grow in wisdom. Have you accepted Christ’s invitation?

Jesus lived a perfectly wise life, yet he took the punishment our foolishness deserved. He went into Sheol—the grave—and came back in victory three days later. He invites you to accept forgiveness from him. If you do, he will transform you into a wise person. The choice is yours! If you are an unbeliever, recognize the foolishness in your life, repent for the first time, and come to Jesus for salvation. If you are a believer, ask the Lord to reveal your foolishness to you, then confess it to him, repent of it, run to Jesus, and ask to be made like him.