How to Begin a Divine Love Story

Why is the young lady so drawn to this man? First, because his love is intoxicating; it "is more delightful than wine." His passionate and affectionate kisses are sweet and powerful. "They sweep me off my feet. They set my head to spinning and my heart racing," she would say. I have read,

the passionate kiss (average length one minute) reveals a lot about your relationship. Considered even more intimate than sex, passionate smooching is one of the first things to go when spouses aren't getting along. (Marriage Partnership, 10)

Her delight is not just in his kisses (touch and taste), they are also in his fragrance (smell): "The fragrance of your perfume is intoxicating" (1:3). He tastes good and he smells good. Being extremely practical for a moment, we can say he brushed his teeth and used mouthwash. He took a bath (or shower!) and used soap (or body wash!). He then put on his best cologne with "anointing oils" (ESV) or "aromatic oils" (MSG). She feels good about this man because he takes the necessary time and steps to make himself attractive to her. He does not take her for granted. He pleases her and he pleasures her. He sets her free to be the aggressor, something many cultures seem to shy away from, but not the Holy Bible.

It is clear she feels like there is no man like this man. There is no king like this king. There is nothing wrong and everything right in what she feels. Her desires are not dirty. Sex is never sinful when it takes place God's way and for God's glory. In that context, she will wait until the time is right (see 2:7; 3:5; 8:4). He is worth waiting for and so is she! First Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us,

8Don't you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body.

Our bodies are sacred gifts from God that have been redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, our divine Bridegroom. They are gifts to be used. They are gifts to be treated with care. This is what this bride believes and how she feels about her groom.

This bridegroom-king's kisses are better than choice wine. His smells are exhilarating, even intoxicating. His fame and reputation are without question and widely known. "Your name is perfume poured out" speaks to his character as a person. He is like an anointed king, he is the anointed king, who is adored by the young women.

A person is always more, much more, than mere physical appearance. Wise people, when dating or courting, will not just form an opinion or make a judgment of the person with whom they are involved. No, they will also seek out and listen to the counsel of family and friends. They will listen to public opinion. Is he honest? Does she possess a Christ-like spirit that is gentle and quiet (cf. 1 Pet 3:4)? Does he have a bad temper? Is she financially responsible? Is he a flirt? A playboy? Does she accept her God-given assignment to submit to and respect her husband (cf. Eph 5:21-24, 33)? Does he take joy in loving her sacrificially (Eph 5:25ff) and working hard to understand her (1 Pet 3:7)?

We should carefully consider what others say about the person we date, and especially about the person we would consider marrying. We all have blind spots. Love can indeed be blind. We must not let our emotions override good decision making, even if it hurts. Shulammite knew this man was respected. He was known as a person of character and integrity. She was not only physically attracted to him, she could respect him. She could admire him.

Song of Songs 1:4

The Bible knows nothing of casual sex because, in reality, there is no such thing. What is often called casual sex is always costly sex. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unexpected pregnancy, and psychological 9and spiritual scars are just a few of the results. The price many pay is high because we have approached God's good gift of sex all too casually. Sexual attraction is inevitable. It is what God intended. However, unless we follow God's plan, we will miss out on His best and suffer the painful and tragic consequences of sin in the process.

The Song of Songs explains the purpose and place of sex as God designed it. When we make love the way God planned, we enjoy the security of a committed relationship, experience the joy of unreserved passion, and discover the courage to give ourselves completely to another in unhindered abandonment.

Sociologists, and marriage and family counselors, are now discovering that the most emotionally and physically satisfying sex is between committed partners, and that satisfaction from sex increases with sexual exclusivity (one partner only), emotional investment in the relationship, and a lasting horizon for the marriage. They are also discovering that marriage is an excellent tonic for both mental and physical health and that marriage is far superior to cohabitation in both areas (Elias, "Marriage," 6D).

The woman longs to be alone with her man, and so she excitedly exclaims, "Take me with you—let us hurry." And where does she want to go? "May the king bring me into his chambers" (my translation). She loves being with this man, and she is looking forward with eager anticipation to the time when she can be with him in private, in the bedroom. She wants to freely give herself to him in this way because of the kind of man, the kind of king, he is! She wants to be alone and she has no fear!

How do we get to this place in courting? In marriage? While there are a number of ways to get at this question I found the following list especially helpful:

In the latter half of verse 4 a group of female singers, the daughters of Jerusalem, shows up (see 1:5). They have heard the words of Shulammite concerning the king and they wish to reinforce her opinion of this man: Your love merits praise and rejoicing. Because you so value this man, we 11value him too. More than that, we value who you are together! You prove the truth of Genesis 2:18: "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.'" Such beautiful complementarity evokes rejoicing and gladness. It calls for praise of such a pure and precious love that is better than the choicest wine.

Shulammite affirms her friends' good opinion of Solomon. It is a blessing to read this book and to see something really important. Not only does this couple love each other, they also like each other. They not only want each other, they also delight in bragging on each other. When asked how you could tell if two people are married, an 8-year-old boy named Derek said, "Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." This is sad, but it is often true. A stroll through the Song of Songs reveals something altogether different. Here are two people who are happiest when they are talking to each other! They are aware that they are sinners saved by God's grace. But saved they are, and now they are part of a story written in heaven by a divine and cosmic romantic. Our Lord loves a good love story. Song of Songs says it is so. Golgotha's cross says it even louder!

The Song of Songs begins with expressions of love, desire, passion, and longing for intimacy. It also addresses issues of character and reputation. Let's set forth some True-or-False questions to explore our perspective on these issues. Our goal, as always, is to have the mind of Christ (Phil 2:5), to think God's thoughts after Him. Take the test with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you are not married, with your mate if you are. After answering each question, talk over your answers. Work hard at listening and understanding. Look for biblical guidance and insight as you proceed.

"Solomon's Finest Song" is literally Solomon's "Song of Songs." It is a superlative like "holy of holies," "vanity of vanities," "King of kings," or "Lord of lords." And yet in the best song ever there is no mention, at least directly, of God. Is there any way to make sense of this? I believe David Hubbard provides a helping hand when he writes,

God's name is absent from the entire setting. But who would deny that his presence is strongly felt? From whom come such purity and passion? Whose creative touch can ignite hearts and bodies with such a capacity to bring unsullied delight to another? Who kindled the senses that savor every sight, touch, scent, taste, and sound of a loved one? Whose very character is comprised of the love that is the central subject of the Song? None of this is to allegorize either the minute details or the main sense of the book. It is about human love at its best. But behind it, above it, and through it, the Song, as part of the 13divinely ordered repertoire of Scripture, is a paean of praise to the Lord of creation who makes possible such exquisite love and to the Lord of redemption who demonstrated love's fullness on a cross. (Hubbard, Ecclesiastes, 273-74)

The word king appears throughout the Song of Songs. He is the one with whom the bride wants to be alone while the crowds praise him (1:4). He is the one she wishes to please (1:12) and also with whom to be on public display as she celebrates her marriage to him (3:9, 11; 8:5). He is her king, the one she longs to captivate with her attractiveness and beauty (7:5). This king is like no other. He restores what was lost in the garden (Gen 3) and He points to a wedding day and a marriage that only eternity will realize (Rev 19:7-10; 21:1-2). No wonder the bride loves Him so.

Just as we rightly long for and have passions for our spouse, we should desire with even greater fervency this Bridegroom-King whose attractiveness is indescribable, whose Name is above every name (Phil 2:9-11), and who is truly the desire of all nations (Hag 2:7 KJV). Marriage was always intended to point to Christ and His church. The Song of Songs places this truth front and center for our gaze and meditation. And what will we see? I think it will be this:

The Song's words resonate within the verbal manifold of scripture's corpus, and when you pay attention to those resonances you see, beyond reasonable dispute, that the depiction of human memory, desire, and sexual love in the Song figures both the Lord's love for you and yours for him, and does so in a way that helps us to see that our human loves for one another are what they are because of their participation in his for us and ours, reciprocally, for him. (Griffiths, Song, 11)