Spring Fever: Getting Ready for the Big Day

Foxes, we are told, "were notorious in the ancient world for damaging vineyards.... Some ancient sources also suggest that foxes were particularly fond of grapes" (Snaith, Song, 41). Solomon knows the beautiful vineyard of marriage is susceptible to destructive little foxes that can sneak in without our noticing them. He also knew that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Better to catch them on the front end of our relationship than to have to track them down later after they have messed things up. I believe the basic thrust of Solomon's command is two-fold.

Foxes are not large creatures. They are small and sly, sneaky and quick. They usually come out at night when you can't see them, and they are especially gifted at hiding. Often you only recognize their presence after the damage has already been done.

Two sinners saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ are still sinners. There are details and issues we must learn to navigate and resolve. Communication, role responsibilities, finances, sex, children, in-laws, aging parents, and conflict resolution don't always (in fact, seldom!) naturally come together in a marriage relationship. What at first seems small can blow up into something big over time if it is not 54dealt with. Little foxes love to ruin a vineyard with bitterness, criticism, jealousy, and neglect.

In addition, ignoring them (thinking they will just go away and resolve themselves) will only encourage the foxes to mate and multiply! Recognize from the very start that the health and success of your marriage is bound up in the little things of life.

The HCSB says we must be on guard against the little foxes because "our vineyards are in bloom." The NKJV says "our vines have tender grapes."

A marriage needs time to grow and bear fruit. It also needs protection because it is a tender and sensitive relationship, perhaps the most tender and sensitive of all. The fact is we all come into marriage with baggage. Open the trunk of your life and you will see both the baggage of your past and the baggage of your personality. The odds are overwhelming that you are unaware of all the things in these two bags.

Furthermore, it is almost certain that your mate has the same two bags but that the contents of those bags are altogether different from yours! Yes, it is often true that opposites attract, but it can also be true that opposites attack if we are not prepared in advance to deal with the baggage. Solomon says that little foxes can ruin the vineyards of our marriage because "our vines have tender grapes" (NKJV). They are vulnerable to attack. Therefore we must provide necessary and essential protection. In our words, actions, and attitudes we must, with dogged determination, resolve to nurture and tend to our relationship with great care and concern.

There are a number of questions that any wise couple will consider as they contemplate the prospects of marriage. These questions address various small things that could become big things if not faced head-on:

Discussing and answering these questions will go a long way in handling successfully the little foxes that will attempt to wreck your relationship.

Song of Songs 2:16-17

As you consider your dating or marriage relationship, which portrays best your relationship at this time?

It is springtime for our shepherd-king and his bride-to-be. Winter has passed. The little foxes have been captured and removed. Their vineyard, the garden, is Edenic. As a result, they are prepared to enjoy the delights of love. They know they belong to each other. They know they want each other!

The language here is of delight and desire, confidence and assurance. "My love is mine and I am his." He belongs to me and I belong to him. There is a mutual understanding and confidence that they share. Theirs is an exclusive and intimate love. "What he wants is her and what she wants is him, exclusively and finally without remainder" (Griffiths, Song, 73).

The shepherd-king also "feeds among the lilies." He enjoys the delights, love, and pleasures she has to offer. He is welcome and free to 57browse or graze at his leisure. She gladly gives herself to this man—emotionally now, physically later—as a gift because he has given himself to her.

A biblical relationship always has two givers. There is not a giver and a taker or two takers. The husband gives himself without reserve to his wife. She, in return, is set free to give herself without reservation or hesitation. This is the beauty and glory of a redeemed, Christ-centered relationship.

The couple longs for marital union and sexual consummation. Because they belong to each other they want each other with no barriers standing in the way. Thinking ahead to what they will enjoy, Shulammite invites Solomon to come into her with the agility, strength, and beauty of a gazelle or young stag (cf. 2:9). Her invitation includes an episode of all-night lovemaking. Would any red-blooded, sane male say no? "The divided mountains" could be translated "the mountains of Bether" (NIV, "the rugged hills"). Literally it is "hills or mountains of separation." This would seem to be a not-so-subtle reference to the woman's breasts (cf. 4:6). With all of his desire and passion before her, she welcomes him. "Before the day breaks [lit. 'breathes'] and the shadows flee" (in other words, "all night"), be my lover and enjoy the fruits of our love. Shulammite has come a long way in her own personal self-evaluation. The unreserved love of this man who has entered her life has effected a great change. She is now the woman God created her to be. Together the two of them are far better and more beautiful than they ever could have been alone (Gen 2:18). Love will do that when we pursue it God's way and with all our heart.

In preparing for marriage we can never have too much information. Really knowing the person you are going to marry is essential if the marriage is going to start well, continue well, and end well. The following are some important questions prospective couples should discuss together before the "I do's." Expect some disagreement! Don't skip over and ignore the tough questions—they probably need the most attention and discussion.

In this poem the shepherd-king comes after his bride-to-be and invites her to come to him. He takes the initiative. He is the true seeker! In fact his invitations are not one, but many. And he comes to her by his voice, by his word.

In the incarnation the voice of God was heard as "the Word became flesh" (John 1:14). Coming full of grace and truth, our Shepherd-King, our Good Shepherd, informs us that like Shulammite, (1) we hear His voice, (2) He knows us, and (3) we follow [come after] Him (John 10:27). Like Shulammite we are called to "arise and come away" (Song 2:10, 13) to a new life with our Shepherd-King, the Lord Jesus.

In Hebrews 3:7-19 the author cites Psalm 95:7-11, telling the people of God to "hear His voice" and enter into the rest the Lord has prepared for His people. Repeatedly He emphasized that "today" is the day to respond in faith, not hardening their hearts. Indeed their response to Him should be natural because, as Psalm 95:7 says, "He is our God and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand."

Jesus, our Shepherd-King, invites us to come to Him now, today, for rest in a garden of love, joy, and fruitfulness made possible by way of another garden, the garden of Gethsemane. Coming to Him in faith, we can proclaim for all to hear, "My beloved is mine and I am his" (2:16). His voice, His word, 61is the only voice I want to hear. His voice, His word, is all I need to hear. Today, as I hear His voice, I will not harden my heart. Rather, I will let His voice put me at ease and bring joy to my soul, for my beloved Lord Jesus is mine and I am His!