A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will
get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing
you care to exercise.
"I don't date women my age. There aren't any." (Milton Berle)
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever
did." (Robert Benchley)
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through
As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we
feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it
You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't
have to go along.
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you
didn't do anything the night before.
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news -- the good news is that you
are not a hypochondriac.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.