Have you seen these answers to test questions from teachers in Christian schools?

• Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.
• Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
• Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
• Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
• The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
• David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
• The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
• The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
• St. Paul cavorted to Christianity; he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marriage.
• Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony

Looks like we have a lot of work to do.