A woman gets pulled over by a police officer and....

Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"
Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."
Woman: "Oh, I see."
Officer: "Can I see your license please?"
Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
Officer: "Don't have one?"
Woman: "Lost it 4 times for drunk driving."
Officer: "I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please."
Woman: "I can't do that."
Officer: "Why not?"
Woman: "I stole this car."
Officer: "Stole it?"
Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."
Officer: "You what?"
Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."

The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for
back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!"

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: "Is there a problem, sir?"
Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner."
Woman: "Murdered the owner?"
Officer 2: "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. "

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"
Woman: "Yes, here are the registration papers."

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license."

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the
officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He
looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the

Woman: "Bet you the lying son of a gun told you I was speeding too."

 - from Mikey's Funnies