Carley Marcouillier

Just pray about it. We have all been given this response as the solution to various trials. As believers, we preach that prayer is the answer, but do we fully believe in its power and purpose in our everyday lives?

In many ways, prayer can feel forced and even futile in light of God’s unchangeable will and His all-sufficient sovereignty. What is the point of praying if God already knows our every need (Matthew 6) and can see our hearts plainly (Psalm 139)? For many, the practice of prayer has become an unequal exchange full of unmet requests. Or maybe, prayer is much like an emergency number. When we are faced with fears or suddenly shaken by suffering, are we quick to ask God, in His power, to resolve our circumstances and realign our world?

Unfortunately, in all of these instances, prayer becomes minimized to a means of receiving something from God. The danger of this perspective is in its shallow and often shattered view of God’s character. I do not believe I am alone in saying that in certain seasons, I too have approached God with the presumption that His goodness was dependent on His answer to my petitions.

The reality of our world’s condition intensifies this distortion when we begin to believe the notion that suffering is evidence of His absence. What if it is not? What if it is our frame of reference that is discouraging our perception of God's power and presence?

Throughout Scripture, we read of countless men and women who sought the Lord fervently, pouring out their hearts in submission to God. Jesus Himself modeled the practice of prayer throughout his ministry, teaching His disciples to do the same. So, what are we missing? And why has holy intersession lost its wonder in the world today?

I believe our disenchantment is due to the lack of our spiritual awareness. For at the heart of both our petitions and praises is an invitation to meet with Jesus. As children of God, we have been given full access to our Heavenly Father through Christ. Prayer is, therefore, the process of abiding in Him (John 15). When we take time, listen, learn, and allow God into the depths of our hearts, we are transformed by the work of the Spirit within us into Christ's likeness. By recapturing this purpose of loving communion with God, we will come to rediscover the power and importance of being still with our Savior. So, let us look back to Scripture and reorient our perspectives to revitalize our practice of prayer.

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Suicide is a word that often makes people feel uncomfortable for several reasons. For some, it triggers past pain or current fears, while for others, it provokes judgment, concern, and lack of understanding. Many who experience the depth of internal stress have difficulty expressing it for fear of being labeled as weak or emotionally unstable. In other cases, we see family members dismiss the concerns of their loved ones due to the stigma surrounding suicide. Additionally, Christian culture has added more division within this topic by neglecting to provide support for those suffering, thus perpetuating the stigma associated with psychological distress. 

The truth is, whether we have little to no personal knowledge of suicide, we as believers need to be informed and prepared to address the reality of pain, both personally and relationally. 

For as much as we may not want to admit it, suicidality is increasing within the church family. From pastors to their beloved members, the body of Christ is silently struggling in the name of spiritual maturity.   

Unfortunately, the topic of suicide has been a taboo topic within the church for centuries. Starting as early as 452 AD, churches began to condemn suicide and punish those who sought to take their own lives and disgracing the burials of victims of suicide. While we have come a long way over the years, the church has not fully embraced its role to provide non-judgmental support for mental health-related issues.  

Lifeway research reports that although a large majority of church members want their pastors to talk openly about mental illness, 66 percent of pastors speak to their church once a year or less on the subject (Lifeway, 2014). 

Consequently, this silence unintentionally isolates those impacted by suicide, allowing room for some to believe that their struggles are simply a sign of spiritual immaturity. 

Maybe, this is you or someone close to you. 

It is time we bravely speak up and support each other in seeking to end the silence and the stigma of suicide by learning the facts and sharing our struggles. 

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It's the end of another year, and if you are anything like me, you too have begun making a list of changes you want to implement in the coming months. There is something refreshing about the start of a new year. January brings with it an intrinsic motivation and newfound inspiration to re-establish healthy habits and set new goals. In looking back over the past 12 months, we often gain perspective on the reality of our progress and for much-needed improvements. Desiring to reignite our spiritual fervor and reprioritize our religious values, we may decide to return to church, choose a Bible reading plan, and make prayer a daily practice. 

Yet oftentimes, these well-intended resolutions give way to repeated discouragement when we fail to remain consistent with our plans to develop new depth in our spiritual disciplines. In many ways, the mindset of making such New Year’s resolutions can create an unrealistic expectation and even promote a legalist perspective on our soul’s condition. We begin to doubt our devotion and perhaps even fear that God is disappointed.

So, how do we begin to make changes to pursue God with passion and purpose, without falling into a state of shame or becoming sidetracked by unbiblical assumptions? If you have experienced the frustration of struggling with sustaining spiritual resolutions, you are certainly not alone. I hope that together, we can make some much-needed revisions to deepen our relationship with our heavenly Father to re-experience the abundance that Christ offers.

Revising Our Resolutions 

Within both my ministry and counseling practice, I have frequent conversations with men and women about the difficulty of developing daily habits that lead to spiritual growth and loving-union God. Even with proper planning and spiritually rich environments, many quickly lose faith that they will ever be able to meet the goal of experiencing God deeply.

Here is the problem. Resolutions for spiritual development built on any other foundation than the Gospel are sure to fail. So, let’s take our lists and desire for spiritual growth in this coming year and make some much-needed revisions for running well.

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I don’t know about you, but Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. From the decorations and lights to the baking and wrapping, there is just something nostalgic about the anticipation of Christmas. I remember as a small child finding such joy in the many parties and Christmas plays that foreshadowed all that was to come on Christmas mornings.

Yet, still to this day, I find myself often feeling disoriented at the end of all the family traditions and festivities. After the gifts are given, the songs have been sung, and the final family members have all headed home, there seems to be an abrupt conclusion to December's celebration as we turn our attention to the New Year. In many ways, we can miss the significance of this season and misplace the purpose of all our preparations if we are unable to slow down and intentionally set aside time to celebrate the gift of Christ’s first coming. 

The joy of Christmas is far from over in light of the abundance that Christ offers, so let us take time to revel in the reality of Christ’s humanity and reflect on the good news of the Gospel, which begins with the birth of Jesus our Savior.

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The holidays tend to get hectic for all of us. We want to be intentional with our time and spend quiet moments reflecting on Jesus and why we celebrate, but things just seem to get away from us. If you feel overwhelmed with busyness every year, then consider bringing one of these statements into your holiday season, to help ground you and remind you to be more intentional with your time.

Grief is not something that anyone wants to feel or experience, but it is something we will all face, one way or another. When those feelings of grief threaten to overwhelm us, the best thing we can do is firmly grab hold of the Word of God. Our Heavenly Father is ready to offer comfort and guidance, and one of the stories he uses  for this is Hannah's. Let's take a look at how Hannah embraces her pain, and how she can help us navigate our own struggles.

Ever experienced a devastating disappointment that left you questioning everything you thought you knew? If so, you are in good company. As much as I would love to say my life has played out like a storybook fairy tale, I cannot. Like any good story, life often provides us with chapters of triumph followed by sudden changes which tend to foreshadow a roller coaster of themes. Life as we know it is riddled with subheadings and scenes we never would have foreseen.

Sound familiar?

When dreams are destroyed, we tend to resort to discouragement and begin to believe that God has given up on us or has forgotten us all together. Yet, looking throughout Scripture, we see time and time again how God used unthinkable situations for his good, and we can remain faithful.

One such story is found in Genesis and recounts the struggle of Joseph, son of Jacob. Like many of us, Joseph’s life was full of plot twists and painful circumstances, yet within the chapters of this story, we are invited to take hold of a new and powerful perspective.

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“I don’t want to be mean," my client stated with remorse as he reflected on his contribution to interpersonal conflict. I completely related to this sentiment, as I too have looked back on past conversations with regret at how easy it is to respond with a hurtful word or harsh tone. 

Even with the best intentions, conflict can arise. 

We see the presence of interpersonal challenges, in big and small ways, within our families, friendships, communities, cities, and throughout our society. From a counseling perspective, we can see how the presence of conflict is often linked to factors such as miscommunication, mismatched messaging, personal perspectives, and a lack of active listening skills. These elements, collected through our lifetimes, largely contribute to how we handle disagreements and disputes. Although our upbringing, life experiences, and personality differences mold our unique approach to conflict, we can all agree that when conflict is left unresolved it causes unnecessary distress in our lives and our relationships. 

So, the question is this: how do we begin to navigate the tension within topics that trigger us without becoming consumed by the conflict itself? Even more importantly, what does the Bible say about how we are to handle conflict in healthy ways? 

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“How did we get here?” I thought to myself, as I read another stranger’s story, describing how a distorted form of the gospel had been used to inflict wounds of rejection and judgment.

I feel there is no end to the headlines of hatred published by those claiming to be Christian. We only need to look at our phones or watch the news to hear of the countless controversies surrounding the Church, its mission, and its message. Whether it be standing with signs of shame or blaming the broken for their bruises, the message of Christ’s ministry has been completely missed.

I have sat with far too many scared souls, who have experienced hurt at the hands of evangelical extensions. Their stories do not include compassion or care, gentleness or generosity, hope, or healing. In stark contrast, they tell stories of those who have twisted the good news of the Gospel of Christ, wringing it dry of its message of mercy.

How did we get to the place where Christianity has become equated with nothing that resembles Jesus?

How did the pursuit of holiness get exchanged for hatred?

How did the desire for justice turn into judgment?

How did the message of redemption translate into religiosity?

As I look back on history and the many movements that have shifted our stances and segregated our theologies, I cannot help but wonder how the message Jesus so clearly demonstrated and communicated has been misinterpreted and abused.

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“What do we do here?” My client asked, referring to the state of dysregulation amidst the COVID-19 crisis.

This question has stuck with me over the last few weeks as I too process the impact of this global pandemic. As a counselor, my therapy has shifted to crisis management and emotional regulation education. As a writer, my topics have shifted to promoting peace and reflecting on God’s promises. And as a believer, my prayers have shifted to petitions of praise and pleas for God’s power to prevail over the pain being experienced throughout our world. 

As much as I tend to normalize my experiences to minimize my emotional distress, I am challenged, as was my client, to face the fears and feelings that this crisis has produced. 

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As I opened my Bible and began to read, these words caught my attention, convincing my heart.

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,⁠ did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he emptied himself by taking the very nature of a servant,⁠ being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!"⁠ (Philippians 2:6-9⁠).

“Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus”... As I reflected on this lofty charge, my mind wrestled with the reality of what it would cost me to even begin to emulate the humility Christ lived.

Looking back at this passage, we read the Apostle Paul’s description of Christ’s example starting with verse 7, “But (Christ) emptied himself, by taking on the very nature of a servant...he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!"⁠

To be emptied as Christ was is a work of grace. The reality of grace is that it has a cost. For God’s transaction with grace cost Him Christ; Christ’s transaction with this grace cost Him death on the cross. Our transaction with grace costs us our pride.

In both extending and receiving this undeserved favor, we are emptied. Emptied of our sin. Emptied of our shame. Emptied of our hurt. Emptied of our hatred.

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“Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;”...

Have you ever wondered what prompted the writing of this beloved hymn? Ever since childhood, I have been captured by these words and the raw disclosure of the writer's heartfelt prayer to be ever-tethered to the Lord. Each stanza of this popular song conveys both praise and deep prayer in being captured by God’s goodness and grace despite the heart’s proneness to wander. The story told within this well-known hymn holds many beautiful truths for us still today.

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Part of life as a human is strong emotions - joy, despair, fear, embarrassment. But when these emotions reach a peak, we often hear well-meaning phrases like "you just need to pray more" or "trust in the Lord in all circumstances." Does God really care about our emotions, or are they something that we should stamp down to be more spiritually mature? Throughout the Bible are reminders that God does see and understand our emotions, even the big ones, and He wants us to feel those things and draw closer to Him.