5 Powerful Tips to Overcome the Fear of Praying in Front of Others
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Maybe you’ve been there before — you’re at dinner with a group of friends when the meal is served. Everyone bows their head, and the host looks to you with a smile.
“Will you pray for us?” Instantly, discomfort courses through your body.
“Ask anyone but me!” you want to squeak.
Or maybe you’re at Bible study and the leader asks if someone will start with prayer — and you keep your gaze firmly on the table. No way, you think as your heart pounds wildly. I’m just too scared!
Sometimes, those who fear praying in front of others also suffer from a general fear of public speaking, or glossophobia, which studies indicate is experienced by a whopping 75 percent of people. For some, this fear ranks higher than the fear of death.
Others are perfectly comfortable speaking in public on any other topic, but when it comes to prayer, dread fills them.
What if I do it wrong? What if I offend God or look like an idiot?
First, it’s important to know that praying in public is not a requirement for any Christian. Jesus warned that we shouldn’t pray in a showy way but rather a simple, private, intimate manner (Matthew 6:5-15).
But often, there are very good reasons to pray in front of others.
If you are someone who struggles with public prayer, I offer five tips to overcome the fear of praying in front of others.
1. Remember, Simple Is Best
In Matthew 6:5-15, when Jesus explains how to pray, most of his advice is to keep things simple, humble, and authentic. God isn’t impressed with showy prayer performances, Jesus says. Our heavenly Father doesn’t want us to babble on and on, or stand on street corners drawing attention to ourselves so that everyone will think we are pious and holy. Besides, he says, God already knows what we need.
Instead, he says stick to the basics. For instance, pray, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matthew 6:9-13).
We don’t necessarily need to use those exact words — just keep the prayer natural and humble, basic and direct. In short, we’re to acknowledge God’s greatness, align our will with his, ask for our basic needs for today and for forgiveness, and help protect us from evil and from temptation. The end.
If part of your fear is worrying you need to be a stellar wordsmith in order to pray “correctly” in front of others, rest assured that this is not the case. In fact, God asks you not to be a stellar wordsmith when it comes to prayer. He just wants your humble heart.
2. Remember, It’s Not about You
Second, remember that prayer isn’t about you at all — it’s about God. Prayer at its root is simply communicating with God, our Creator. It’s a conversation with the King of the Universe, and it is a blessing to be able to do this. There is no one way to pray, and it can be public or private, formal or informal, spoken or silent.
Sometimes, we fear praying in front of others because we’re worried about how we’ll be perceived, either by God or other people. Maybe we think we might do it “wrong” or won’t be eloquent.
Instead of keeping so much focus on ourselves, it can help to remember that we’re not the point of the prayer: God is the point.
God knows our weaknesses and the desires of our hearts. He knows what we want before we even ask.
Instead of worrying about the others around you, take a breath and center yourself in the Lord. When you pray, speak to the Lord. It really doesn’t matter if anyone else is in the room with you. What matters is directing your words, your thoughts, your requests, every ounce of your being to the One who made the stars.
3. Remember, God Will Give Us the Words
Those who fear public speaking often say they worry they will open their mouth to speak… then freeze. Their fear will prevent any words from slipping through their lips. Red-faced and ashamed, they imagine they will be outed as a fraud and a coward in front of their peers and slink away, an outcast.
But when it comes to prayer, we don’t need to worry about that.
See, if we are believers in Jesus Christ as our savior and redeemer, we can have faith that the Holy Spirit lives within our hearts. Because of this, we can be assured that the Spirit will speak on our behalf when needed.
As Romans 8:26 tells us, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
God will give us the words we need.
4. Remember, God Loves Our Prayers
The apostle Paul wrote in to the early church in Philippi, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Anything. Every situation.
This means that we can be fully open with our Heavenly Father, for he wants to hear from us. He wants to hear about anything that concerns us, whether that’s a prayer for healing or gratitude about a meal.
Imagine you have a small child who’s nervously approached your knee. She crawls into your lap. You know she’s nervous, and you beckon her close.
“What do you need, sweet one?” you might ask.
You want her to feel comfortable with you and safe, for you love her, and you want her to tell you what is on her mind.
It’s the same with God, only far better. For the Bible tells us God loves us more than we can possibly imagine.
As Jesus said in Matthew 7:9-11, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Even if we are nervous, knowing our Father loves us and wants to hear from us can help alleviate our fears.
5. Remember, God Is Glorified through Weakness
Being uncomfortable is scary… but sometimes necessary. Moses didn’t want to lead the people out of Egypt or go before Pharaoh, but God equipped him and even sent his brother Aaron along to help (Exodus 4:10-15). David was a young man with only a stone and a sling, but God enabled him to slay the giant Goliath and win victory for Israel (1 Samuel 17:50-53). Paul had an affliction, a “thorn in the flesh,” yet because of God he was able to spread Christianity across Asia Minor, converting countless people to Christ. He desperately wanted God to take away his affliction, but as the Bible tells us, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9).
Embrace your weakness and your fear. Remember that God loves to use the flawed for his glory.
It’s never easy doing something outside of your comfort zone. But in this, at least, knowing the God of the Universe is with you every step of the way can make a huge difference. With God on your side, remember: You can do this.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Dmitry Kovalchuk
