6 Ways to Build a Consistent Prayer Life
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As a child, I believed I could capture water with my hands as easily as with a cup. The pool and bathtub were ideal places for testing my theory: I would squeeze my fingers together to form a barrier before dipping my hands in the water. The rivulets would slowly accumulate into my palms before trickling out again. Try as I did, I could never quite prevent the droplets from seeping out.
Prayer is often like water; it quenches our thirst for communion with God, providing life-giving fellowship. But praying can also feel elusive and difficult, as if we are trying to keep our hands tightly cupped to hold the water as droplets run through our fingers. We often stumble over awkward pleas for help to the Lord, or struggle to keep our minds from wandering. Amid the chaos of life, we can also forget to talk to the Lord. It is something we intend to do and know is necessary for a healthy Christian walk, but we fail to carry out in everyday life.
How can we build a consistent prayer life? And what does this look like in a modern society that is barraged with distractions and short-attention spans?
What we need is not more vague and generalized calls to prayer, as if “just pray” is enough to help us cultivate a prayerful life. Rhythms and practices are required to bring the biblical teaching of prayer into our days. Much like the way water is elusive until placed inside a container –– a cup, bottle, or bowl –– what we need is to give shape to prayer in our lives, building a framework for consistent communion with God. Then, we will be able to participate in this discipline that is vital to our spiritual growth and flourishing.
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1. Ask God for Help
When we are struggling to build a habit of prayer, we often rush to find solutions, like implementing a strategy or following a new model. In our eagerness to fix our problem, however, we often skip a vital first step: asking God for help.
He is already aware of our weaknesses and needs. And He wants us to come to Him with our concerns, as a child seeking out a parent. Our Lord cares about us and invites us to talk to Him about any problems we face in life (1 Peter 5:7). Building our prayer life from this basis of fellowship is a wise choice since prayer is communion with God.
We can ask, as the disciples did, that the Lord teach us to pray (Luke 11:1). More than anyone, Jesus knows the hinderances and distractions that can prevent individuals from talking to the Father. Our Lord was regularly surrounded by crowds and needs that threatened to pull him away from His central focus. Hence, He developed an essential practice of retreating to private or lonely places to commune with the Father (Luke 5:16). We can learn from His example when we prayerfully engage with what He said and lived out regarding prayer.
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2. Set Aside Time Each Day to Pray
Most positive changes in our lives do not happen passively. Either someone interceded to help, or we made a plan to rework the situation. Intention combined with action produces change.
We know this to be true in everyday life. If we want to implement more time with family or a friend, we carve out space in our week to make it happen. Or if we recognize the need for more rest, then periods of relaxation or intentional stress-reducing activities would become a part of the rhythms of our life. We set aside time for what we value most.
So, an important part of fostering a prayer life is to schedule time each day to pray. We could do as Daniel did and start a pattern of praying three times a day (Daniel 6:10). The habit of doing this formed him spiritually so that even in times when it was dangerous for him to be caught praying, he did so anyway to spend time with the Lord.
Of course, the specific time of day is not the focus; rather, it is the act of consistently meeting with the Lord. The more we prioritize prayer, either by setting aside one, three, five, or more times a day, the more we will find ourselves returning to our discussion with the Lord. We will develop a rhythm that encourages us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
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3. Fuel Your Prayers with Regular Scripture Reading
The book of Psalms is known as the hymnal and prayer book of the church. These song-prayers told in verse have historically been used as starting places for prayer. As we pray alongside David, Asaph, and others, lifting our voices to the Lord, we learn to praise the Lord. To lament with honesty and faithfulness. To express a variety of emotions in a way that honors the Lord.
Regular Scripture reading, including the Psalms, can shape our prayers. Not only will we grow in our ability to pray as we speak God’s Word back to Him, but we will begin to be formed by the biblical passages we offer in prayer. For we are using Scripture to fellowship with the Lord, a book that is sweeter than honey and sharper than any double-edged sword (Psalm 119:103; Hebrews 4:12). It has the power to transform us.
Adding Bible reading to a daily routine will look different for each person. A few practices, though, can help us implement a prayerful engagement with Scripture:
1. Lectio Divina, a Latin term for sacred reading, which includes a cycle of Bible reading, meditation, prayer, and contemplation
2. Regularly praying verses aloud
3. Using a Scripture reading plan that promotes a slower, more thoughtful pace.
Choosing a practice that combines time with God and listening and talking to Him promotes a prayerful posture in life.
Taking in a consistent diet of the Bible is vital to fueling our prayer life. Hence, we so often hear about the need to read Scripture and pray, as if the two disciplines are intrinsically linked. They are. We learn as we listen to the Word of God, pray it back to Him, and respond to what He teaches us.
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4. Utilize Written Prayers
Some Christians are wary of using written prayers. They may equate them with “vain repetitions” spoken only for religious ceremony and to make individuals appear more spiritual than others (Matthew 6:7). Yet, when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, He gave them a specific prayer –– what we call the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). This was a prayer they would have undoubtedly memorized and used throughout their lives. It was much more than a mere model; the prayer was something for them to speak, think about, and use whenever they prayed to the Father.
The Lord’s Prayer serves as a great introduction to prayer life. New believers will discover that the words are easy to memorize, as Christ expertly designed them to be, while believers of more advanced years will appreciate the familiarity and the prayer’s ability to turn their focus back to the glory of God’s name and kingdom. Our Lord’s words then become a part of our lives.
In addition to the regular use of the Lord’s Prayer, we can utilize those created by Christians throughout time, ones that have blessed countless others. Browse prayers like the breastplate prayer of St. Patrick, St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer of peace, words from St. Augustine’s Confessions, liturgies from The Book of Common Prayer, or one of the prayers from Martin Luther’s writings. As we construct a habit of prayer, the words from these saints of old can help us when we struggle to know what to say. They can teach us form and structure, guiding us with precise words to express our thoughts and feelings to seek God’s help and give thanks for His salvation.
So, we do not have to fear written prayers. They can serve as guides, giving us words when we cannot express ourselves and turning our thoughts back to our Savior.
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5. Create a Place in Your Home that Is Conducive to Spending Longer Times with God
Having a daily habit of communing with the Lord is essential. However, there are periods in which we need to follow the example of Christ, get away to a quiet place, and spend uninterrupted time with the Father. Jesus often did this, praying through the night in some situations (Matthew 14:22-25; Luke 6:12-13). Part of building a robust prayer life is acknowledging that there is a need for longer spans of time spent in prayer.
For this reason, we need a place where we can retreat and converse with the Lord –– one that is accessible and conducive to prayer. Not everyone will have the resources, privileges, or time to set aside a room or space for this purpose. Some of us may more closely resemble Susanna Wesley, who had to be content with placing an apron over her head to have quiet time with the Lord. If the proverbial apron is the only option in our present season of life, then we can utilize even a small space to cultivate prayer.
But others may have a few creative choices for setting up a space in the home for prayer. Perhaps there is an underused corner in a room, or in the basement, which could serve as a quiet space to talk to God. And who said this place had to be indoors? A porch or shaded area of a yard could also serve as a dedicated place of retreat.
We can, and should, pray whenever and wherever we find ourselves. There is a sense of comfort, though, in being able to sit down in a familiar chair or peaceful part of a garden and talk to God freely for as long as our hearts desire. Retreat to that secret place where only God hears and sees (Matthew 6:6).
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6. Incorporate Prayer into Your Daily Rhythms
Small choices each day develop into habits that have a way of shaping us. The well-known quote from Annie Dillard expresses this truth well: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Thus, we must practice diligence in establishing rhythms that will build a life of consistent prayer.
By adding the act of praying to what we already do, we can start to weave this practice into the fabric of our lives. Before we eat, we offer thanks to God. When we are struggling at work or school, we ask the Lord for help. During a time of peace or happiness, we pause to praise God. When we see a lovely tree or feel the touch of a breeze, we magnify the Lord. Before cooking, cleaning, writing, playing, driving, sleeping, we can talk to God. He hears and cares about our life –– every part of it.
We do not have to live in a monastery or be a spiritual giant to practice ongoing communion with our Savior. Rather, by naturally incorporating prayer into the activities that fill our days, we can build a life focused on the Lord.
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