How Do We Minister to Nonbelievers at the End of Their Life?
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Christians long for their non-believing family and friends to surrender to Jesus in repentance and faith. We pray countless prayers asking the Lord God to draw them to Himself through Jesus Christ. But what do we do when our unbelieving loved one is dying apart from Christ? How do we minister to them?
Think of your most loved unsaved person (for me, it’s my sister). What if that person has but a few months (or weeks, or days) to live according to the doctor’s timetable? For Christians, our most important ministry to them is to share the gospel — every day if you must. Our physical health matters, but it’s nothing in the face of our spiritual health. We crave their salvation! There are numerous ways we can minister to them at the end of their lives.
1. Pray
Prayer should precede everything. It’s of vital importance that we Christians commune with God about our lives and about how to honor His name and glorify Him. Before we begin our ministry to our family member or friend who is at the end of their life, pray. Prayer is our best offense and defense.
Pray:
- That the Lord will open your mouth to speak the gospel with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
- For the heart of your beloved one, that the Lord would prepare them to hear and respond to the gospel.
- The Lord will thwart the evil one’s assaults against you and your loved one. We know Satan and his demons want us to fear man, therefore stopping us from displaying Christ to our dying family member or friend
- For the Lord’s will regarding their health. He may choose to heal them, no matter what the doctors say. But if not, remember He only does what’s good for us and what brings Him glory.
- That your beloved one will say “yes” when you ask them if you can pray with and for them at their side.
- Pray also for (and, if possible, with) the hospital or hospice caregivers.
You can certainly pray alone for them. You can also pray with fellow believers for your precious one and ask them to pray when you aren’t together.
2. Speak
Now is not the time to hold back the best news ever from your loved one. They are quickly approaching eternity, and if they die apart from Christ, they will be forever bereft of Him. A person in the grip of death looks at life a whole lot differently than when they were healthy. They might be more open to hearing the gospel.
If they don’t know your testimony, you can make that a starting point that leads to the gospel. Tell them how much you love them and want to spend eternity with them. Hopefully they will have questions for you. Don’t fear not being able to answer all their questions. Take a good study Bible with you and perhaps a book with Bible FAQs, such as R. C. Sproul’s, “Essential Truths of the Christian Faith” or John MacArthur’s “Fundamentals of the Faith.”
3. Trust
When you share and do all you can for your dying family member or friend, remember, the results are not under your control. Your obedience, however, is. Romans 1:16 tells us, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” It’s God’s power at work as you speak the gospel. Our love for God and for others compels us to share the gospel (1 Corinthians 9:16) and trust God to do what only He can do.
What if your friend or family member doesn’t surrender to Jesus before they die? We must trust God for our beloved one’s destiny because He is God. God is good, and He never changes. We may question Him, but one day we will understand completely the whys of this life. And we will rejoice in Christ as we exalt Him as King of kings and Lord of lords.
4. Visit
When Job’s three friends first came to comfort him, they sat beside him for seven days saying nothing. Their presence, at that time, was enough. As you can, visit your dying loved one. Even if no words are exchanged, your presence will be a comfort to them.
Visit with your other family members as well, and if it’s your friend who is dying, their family members. Pray with them and comfort them with your presence.
Tangible Ministry Ideas
We have many ways to minister to a dying loved one in addition to the ideas mentioned above.
- Craft handmade cards for them. It doesn’t matter if you are artistic. What matters is the time and love you pour into them.
- Take special, allergen-free lotions to them, and if they are physically able and are okay with it, give them a nice hand or foot massage. Touch is a wonderful balm to soothe a person’s mind and body.
- Make a playlist of their favorite music and sit and listen with them. Add some Christian music, of course!
- Watch funny and/or heart touching movies together.
- Read your favorite Bible passages to them and tell them why they are your favorites.
- Hug your loved one.
- Bring a stylist friend in to give your family member or friend a haircut or shave.
- If they are able to eat, bake one of their favorite things and share it with them.
- If they are ambulatory, grab a wheelchair and get them some fresh air and sunshine if the weather is conducive.
- Many hospitals allow therapy pets to be brought bedside. If your friend or family member is a pet lover, try to arrange for a visit.
- If you can, bring a favorite piece of clothing or jewelry for your friend to wear (unless it interferes with the nurse’s needs to access to certain areas of their body).
- Make sure they can see the cards and flowers and any other gifts that people send. Read the cards to them.
- If your beloved one is non-responsive, bend close to their ear and talk to them. Tell them you love them and are praying for them. Share some thoughts about how much they have impacted your life and how you will miss them. If they’ve yet to surrender to Jesus, share the gospel again as you hold their hand.
- Bring family photographs to look at together and re-live some precious memories.
Deuteronomy 32:39 states, “See now that I, I am He, And there is no god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded, and it is I who heal, And there is no one who can deliver from My hand.” If your beloved one lives or dies, it’s God’s will.
While we don’t know all the mysteries of God, we do know what His Word says. He is faithful and compassionate, and only God knows if the words we speak to them are taken to heart.
A Prayer for Your Dying Loved One
Father God,
You alone know the depth of my heartache for my beloved one. I yearn for You to draw them to Yourself through the Lord Jesus Christ while they still have a chance. Help me to minister to them and represent You well so they will understand their eternal need for You and surrender to Jesus as Savior and Lord. You, Father, are the beginning and the end, and I pray my beloved one sees You for Who You are, our loving Father. Do the work in their life only You can do. And change me more and more into the image of Christ so His light shines through me. Let my beloved glorify You because of me.
In Jesus’ precious and holy name I pray,
Amen.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/kieferpix
