What Happened between Amnon and Tamar in the Bible?

The story of Amnon and Tamar in the Old Testament Book of 2 Samuel is one of the most disturbing and tragic in the Bible. It teaches us why God designed moral law to protect us and how we break that moral law to our own detriment. It also teaches us how our actions affect others, especially how parents can impact their children–for good and for bad–even as adults.

Who Were Amnon and Tamar?

Amnon was the oldest son of King David, and Tamar was his half-sister. To understand their story, it’s best to take a step back and first look at their father’s history to see how family dysfunction ruled in David’s kingdom.

David became the second king of Israel, after God was displeased by the attitudes and actions of his first choice, King Saul. Once he became king, David married several women (eight in total) who bore him several children. He also sired children through various slaves, leading to 19 sons in all. His oldest child was Amnon, born to him by Ahinoam, and Tamar’s mother was Maacah, who also bore David’s third son, Absalom. The Bible does not tell us for certain how many years were between births, but from this we can know that Amnon was older than Tamar, and Tamar only had one full sibling: Absalom. 

While polygamy was not forbidden by God at this point, He did say (through Moses) in Deuteronomy 17:17, the king “...must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray.” And King David’s heart was definitely led astray. The greatest evidence we have of this is when he saw a woman named Bathsheba and instantly had to have her as his own. He had her husband set up to be killed in battle, a battle King David himself should have been leading. Instead, he took Bathsheba and impregnated her. God was so displeased at all of this treachery, deceit, and abuse of power that He took the life of the infant, and through the prophet Nathan said, “...the sword shall never depart from your house” (2 Samuel 12:10) 

In Matthew Henry's Commentary of the Whole Bible, Henry writes, “From henceforward David was followed with one trouble after another. Adultery and murder were David's sins, the like sins among his children were the beginnings of his punishment: he was too indulgent to his children.”

What Is the Story of Amnon and Tamar in the Bible?

A consequence of David being too indulgent to his children resulted in sons who disrespected women and had no control over their desires. Perhaps Amnon's father, King David, was a poor example of this to Amnon, as one would guess that this son knew of King David’s sin with Bathsheba. What began as lust–“Amnon, son of David fell in love with Tamar…” quickly devolved into sexual fervor–"Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her” (2 Samuel 13:1-2).

Do anything to her? This was his half-sister! Was King David aware that his oldest son had a depraved mind, or did he have any relationship with him at all? There was one who did find out what Amnon was thinking: his cousin Jonadab. He was obviously just as ill-bred because he suggested to Amnon to feign illness and ask that his food be brought to his bed by Tamar so that he could eat it from her hand (2 Samuel 13:5). 

King David went to see Amnon (likely part of Jonadab’s plot to prove that Amnon needed a nursemaid). When Amnon made this request to have Tamar come and care for him, King David ordered it himself. When she went to Amnon’s house, he was lying down, and she began to prepare bread for him, which he refused and ordered everyone out of the house. He asked her to come close and feed him herself, and when she did, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister” (2 Samuel 13:11). Did he call her “my sister” to make her feel obligated to him, or to endear her to him? In either case, she was not at all interested.

She told him not to force her to do such a wicked thing that should not be done in Israel. She talked of her disgrace and him being a “wicked fool.” In what feels like a desperate measure, she suggests that Amnon talk to the King and have the two married, which would be far better than taking her. But he wouldn’t listen–and raped her. (2 Samuel 14)

It’s such a sickening scene, and yet more dysfunction was to follow that would make it all the more gut-wrenching for Tamar. Suddenly, Amnon said that he hated her and told her to get out. She argued that sending her away would make it an even greater sin. But he wouldn’t listen and had her thrown out. Since she was wearing a beautifully ornamented robe worn only by virgins, she covered herself in ashes–a symbol of great mourning.

What Was Absalom's Role in Tamar’s Story?

Tamar must have thought her redeemer was at hand when she saw Absalom (her full brother). But he told her not to let it bother her (“don’t take it to heart”) and to come live in his house. Absalom never said anything to Amnon about what he did to his sister, but it seems that he was just biding his time. Two years later, Absalom was hosting a sheepshearing event and asked that the king join him. When King David refused, Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us” (2 Samuel 13:26). One could guess that King David was suspicious that Absalom only requested Amnon, so he sent all of his sons. 

Absalom decided to pull a trick of his own and told his men to get Amnon drunk and then kill him. He wouldn’t dirty his hands himself, as if that could absolve him from the murder. Unfortunately, Absalom’s men were very eager to kill Amnon, though they were following orders (and perhaps knew of the story of Tamar as well).

How Did King David Respond to Tamar's Rape?

When King David heard about what happened between Amnon and Tamar, the Bible says that he was “furious.” Wait…no punishment? No banishment? No respect for what happened to Tamar? Was King David dulled because he knew that God prophesied that the sword would not leave his house? What was he thinking? 

We can’t know what was in his mind because the Word doesn’t tell us. We can’t know if he was riddled with guilt over his sin with Bathsheba, and therefore couldn’t call out the same sin in his son. But the prophecy given by Nathan did come true, and the sword never left King David’s house in his lifetime. Amnon’s murder led to Absalom’s exile, and it took King David two years to reconcile with him. Later, Absalom rebelled and tried to steal the throne, causing King David to flee in disgrace. In the end, in the battle between King David’s and Absalom’s forces, Absalom was killed.

Where Else Is Tamar Mentioned in the Bible?

There is another Tamar mentioned in the Bible, and her story relates to sexual sin as well. In Genesis 38, Tamar is the daughter-in-law of Judah (one of the 12 sons of Jacob). Judah had a son named Er and arranged a marriage for him with a woman named Tamar. But because Er was “wicked in the Lord’s sight” (Genesis 38:7), he died. Judah then gave his second son, Onan, to Tamar so, according to their custom, she could have a child in her first husband’s name. But Onan wasn’t happy with that arrangement, and God took his life too.

Tamar was then told to wait for Judah’s youngest son, Shelah, but he never kept his promise. Whether in desperation, spite, fear, or other emotion, Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and situated herself where she knew Judah would pass by. Her plan was to get pregnant by Judah, and that’s exactly what happened, since Judah didn’t recognize her and slept with her. He was tempted to put her to death once he knew she was pregnant, but she offered proof that the baby was his.

As it turns out, she was pregnant with twins whom she named Perez and Zerah. And as God’s perfect, yet sometimes confounding will would have it, theirs would be the line from which David, and eventually Jesus, would come. Tamar is even listed in the Gospel of Matthew 1:3 in the record of Jesus’ genealogy.

How Does This Story Relate to God's Justice and Mercy?

The story of Amnon and Tamar is deeply painful, but it reveals important truths about our Heavenly Father, who is both just and merciful. When it comes to God’s justice, we realize that God is always watching, and justice will always be served by Him, either in this life or the next.  He hates evil, and throughout Israel’s history, sin was always met with consequence, even if not immediately. Even though King David was furious about what happened between Amnon and Tamar, he did nothing, but Tamar was avenged by Absalom in the end anyway. And the continued family dysfunction throughout the rest of David’s life was a judgment on him and the sins of his sons. 

Though Tamar suffered in a horrific and unjust way, we also see a glimpse of God’s mercy. She was not silenced or erased from the story—in fact, Scripture honors her dignity and bravery. We see her as the voice of reason and righteousness despite the sin and chaos around her. The very fact that this story is included in God’s Word is a testament to His mercy. We can read that God’s mercy is shown to the hurting and the broken, even when humans fail to show such mercy. Tamar’s suffering is not forgotten thousands of years later, showing many that they are not forgotten by God, and in the end, God’s mercy and justice always triumph.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Alexey M

Mary Oelerich-Meyer is a Chicago-area freelance writer and copy editor who prayed for years for a way to write about and for the Lord. She spent 20 years writing for area healthcare organizations, interviewing doctors and clinical professionals and writing more than 1,500 articles in addition to marketing collateral materials. Important work, but not what she felt called to do. She is grateful for any opportunity to share the Lord in her writing and editing, believing that life is too short to write about anything else. Previously she served as Marketing Communications Director for a large healthcare system. She holds a B.A. in International Business and Marketing from Cornell College (the original Cornell!) When not researching or writing, she loves to spend time with her writer daughter, granddaughter, rescue doggie and husband (not always in that order).