Why Does the Bible Say a Husband or Wife's Body Is Not Their Own?

Marriage is an important part of life for people who are called to it, and there are many dynamics that come to the marital relationship. While everyone has different expectations, obligations, and goals for their marriages, the Bible is clear that for people who are saved and belong to Christ, that God has certain expectations for marriage.

Marriage is a part of God’s design, and He instituted it to honor Him. One of the ways that a marital relationship honors God is through appropriate sexual boundaries, with the Apostle Paul writing:

“A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does” (1 Corinthians 7:4).

This verse does not require spouses to meet a quota in their relationship, but it does encourage them to be giving to one another to avoid sin. Intimacy between a man and a woman is a gift from the Lord, but God set appropriate boundaries on it. For people who love God and love each other, the Bible encourages them to see their bodies as belonging to their spouse to avoid sin, but also to experience the deep love that husbands and wives are designed to have.

What Is the Context of This Verse?

The verse in question is in Paul’s first letter to the church in Corinth, a gentile church that had many difficulties, particularly around sexual immorality. Even some of the directives that seem unrelated to sexuality are related. For example, the concern about women wearing head coverings actually ties back to the local custom of temple prostitution.

Paul had to admonish the church for affiliating with someone committing extreme sexual sin, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and the kind of sexual immorality that is not even tolerated among the Gentiles — a man is sleeping with his father’s wife” (1 Corinthians 5:1). Paul, however, did not spend the whole book chastising the church. He equipped them with knowledge and advice to have appropriate sexual expression, starting with the idea of one man and one wife. 

In his letter, he wrote:

“A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.  Do not deprive one another — except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

Before Paul gave this directive, he warned against sexual sin, encouraging believers to glorify God with their bodies by not sinning with those bodies. He noted, “Don’t you know that your bodies are a part of Christ’s body? So should I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of a prostitute? Absolutely not!” (1 Corinthians 6:15).

After this warning, he went on to encourage married believers not to deny each other, in part to avoid sexual sin. Afterward, he provided a little more advice to married people, including believers married to unbelievers. These ideas he touched on – like being married to an unbeliever, not indulging in inappropriate sexual relationships, and living in a way that is appropriate to God – touched directly on issues in the Corinthian church. They apply to us today as well.  

What Does This Verse Mean?

In a simple interpretation, the expectation is that a husband and a wife will not deny one another sexual intimacy unless they are fasting. It should be clear that forcing a spouse to have intercourse when they are tired, ill, or for any reason is inappropriate. Generally though, if both the husband and the wife are healthy and things are good, they should be together physically.

A husband and wife should enjoy one another physically. They should do it to express love, to protect one another from sexual sin, and for the procreation of children. Another important facet of this instruction from Paul is avoiding adultery. If a wife’s body belongs to her husband, she should not go and give another person access to it, and a husband cannot go and give his body to another. 

This idea is not just about the sexual aspect of a marriage, it also extends out to other parts of the relationship. In his letter to the Ephesians Paul wrote, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. … For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:21-31).

Spouses are to create a life together, to make plans, have children if it is God’s will, and to pursue sanctification and evangelism as one mind and one person. A woman’s body is not her own in part because her life is no longer her own. Likewise a husband’s body is not his own because his life belongs to his wife and his marriage. They are supposed to pray together, go together, and work together, rather than for individual interests. 

Where Else Does the Bible Talk about the Marital Relationship?

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

“Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. A loving deer, a graceful doe — let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever” (Proverbs 5:18-19).

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).

“Therefore, put to death what belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5).

“Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4).

Prayer for a Healthy Marriage

Holy Father,

Thank you for the blessing of marriage. Thank you for granting us companionship, love, support, and friendship in another person. We give you glory and honor for bringing my spouse and I together to work together for your Kingdom.

Please help us to have a marriage that is glorifying to you. Give us understanding, so that we do not fight. Fill us with patience, kindness, charity, and wisdom so that our marriage is strong, and not prone to problems. Help all the aspects of our marriage to be healthy.

Help us to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, so that we both can be sanctified, as well as to be guided by you. We want our marriage to be a picture for others about the relationship between Jesus and the Church, and to be used by you to bring the lost to a saving knowledge of you. We surrender our marriage and our lives to you, to be used for eternal purposes.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray,

Amen.

Sources
Keller, Timothy and Kathy Keller. The Meaning of Marriage Facing the Complexities of Committment with the Wisdom of God. Riverhead Books: New York, 2011.
Noble, John-William. Biblical Marriage Two Sinners and A Gracious God. Eugene: Wipf and Stock Publishers, 2020.
Spurgeon, Charles. Commentary on 1 Corinthians. eBooks: Ravenio Books, 2014.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/PeopleImages

Bethany Verrett is a freelance writer who uses her passion for God, reading, and writing to glorify God. She and her husband have lived all over the country serving their Lord and Savior in ministry. She has a blog on graceandgrowing.com.