Nine Writing A Soul-Training Plan

give myself margin every weekend

have dinner with friends two times a month

pray for competitors every night before falling asleep

go on a walk with my family once a week

hospitality—serve others twice a month

invite family and friends to our home for dinner
twice a month

Figure 9.1. Jennifer’s plan for life

Jennifer’s plan is excellent. She is a naturally giving person, so it was good to see that she included sewing (something that nourishes her soul) and margin. Jennifer was able to keep her regula for a long time because it was life-giving and challenging without being too demanding.

Figure 9.2 is the rule of my colleague Matt Johnson. Matt, as you will probably guess by looking at his plan, is a contemplative person who enjoys and benefits greatly from his times with God.

doing dishes two times each day for fifteen minutes
(a.m. and p.m.)

practicing God’s presence daily—6:45-7:00 a.m.

gardening/working outside three times per week for thirty minutes—Monday, Tuesday and Thursday—7:00-7:30 a.m.

guitar playing four times per week for twenty minutes—Monday through Thursday—9:20-9:40 a.m.

contemplative/intercessory prayer once each week on Monday morning

lectio divina two times per week on Tuesday and Thursday

solitude once each week for two hours on Wednesday—7:20-9:20 a.m.

welcoming prayer—review practice once each week on Thursday—8:30 a.m.

go out with Catherine once each week—one hour on Thursday night

sabbath three times per month Friday into Saturday

service—three acts of service each week (hard to measure)

spiritual direction once each month as scheduled

Figure 9.2. Matt’s plan

As you can see, Matt’s rule contains several times for private prayer and solitude. His regula includes spending fifteen minutes a day practicing God’s presence, a full hour of prayer on Monday morning, lectio divina twice a week and one hour of holy leisure three times a month. Those are very powerful spiritual exercises, but they are also very challenging for most people, who are not used to so much solitude.

Though his plan is weighted toward nurturing his relationship with God, I probably would not tell Matt to cut back on these practices because I know how much he benefits from them. I think he finds balance in that his regula includes enough self-care (gardening, guitar playing, dates with his wife and spiritual direction) as well as service to others (doing dishes daily, three acts of service a week). One of the best things Matt has going for him is that he works each month with a spiritual director, who is able to help him discern how his plan is beneficial and, if necessary, how to modify it.

I have found it very helpful to have other apprentices look at my regula and offer their input, especially in terms of balance and attainability. We are not always objective, and others may be able to see an area we have missed. One time I looked at the plan of a person in my group and immediately saw that it was imbalanced. It had two exercises that nurtured his life with God, no self-care exercises and ten aimed at helping others. This friend is a very giving, loving person who lives to serve. But I was able to point out the imbalance, which he could not see. This is a form of spiritual direction. We are allowing others to peer into our practices and offer their perspective, which is a great gift.

An alternative is to bring all of your plans together and write a common plan that everyone agrees to follow for a time. A friend of mine did this with a group of eight apprentices who had gone through the series together. When they finished the series, they took a month off to write their own rules. Then they came together and shared what each had written. Together they came up with a single rule with several exercises to be done each month that all of them agreed to practice (see fig. 9.3). Their group met every two weeks to share how they were doing. By email they also shared how they were doing, what was working and where they were struggling. This became a way to offer some tips they discovered along the way.

observe a sabbath on the third Sunday of the month

read the Gospel of John in one sitting during the month

daily reading of the Sermon on the Mount—approximately fifteen minutes a day during the workweek

ten to twenty minutes of silence each day

slow down: specifically drive the speed limit and be aware of God’s presence; bless each driver that passes by

at least once a week intentionally build up a new or
current relationship by writing a note, sending an email
or making a call

lift each other up in daily prayer

Figure 9.3. A group rule

Notice the exercises they agreed on, as well as the frequency they chose to do them. The sabbath, for example, was important to nearly all of them, but they also knew that it can be hard for everyone to keep a sabbath every week. So they decided to all have a sabbath time together on the third Sunday of each month. This allowed them to help prepare each other for that day, as well as share ideas that worked for them. In reality, it turned out to be difficult for them to keep it on the same day.

Their group regula is attainable for the most part, but the practice of reading the Sermon on the Mount daily was a challenge because of their schedules. Some found it easy, especially those who had time on their lunch break, to sit down and read. They were surprised by how much impact other activities on the list had. For example, driving the speed limit (which is the law) had a big effect on the group. The ten to twenty minutes of silence each day was also very helpful, though some in the group had to work up to that amount by starting with five minutes, moving to ten and then to fifteen.

These three plans reveal how important balance and moderation are. I hope you will use them as guidelines, and not something to slavishly imitate. Still, there is value in learning—and even imitating for a time—the practices of those who are more experienced than we are. Paul wrote to the Corinthians,

Though you might have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers. Indeed, in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. I appeal to you, then, be imitators of me. (1 Corinthians 4:15-16)

Paul told them to imitate him not because he was the perfect model but because he was the only model they had. When we start out, it is a good idea to try to do what seasoned apprentices do.

I learned this from my time with Richard Foster and Dallas Willard. In my younger days I imitated their practices. Richard’s prayer life was particularly inspiring to me, and I prayed as I saw him pray. I even imitated the way he sat in his chair, with his hands on his knees. When I lived and worked with Dallas Willard, I was impressed with how he memorized the Bible—in large sections. I observed him doing that late into the evening some nights before retiring. I was inspired by this and started doing it myself. But in time I learned to shape and modify what I was doing to fit who I am and what I need. And that changes over time. So I offer these rules and ideas for reflection. Pray about this and consider how you might practice a rule in your own life.

Once you have come up with a balanced and moderate plan, it is time to put it into practice. Simply having a plan will do you no good; you have to live it. This means, first of all, looking over your schedule and planning when you will engage in these practices. This is a crucial step in the process and a place where many fail. They never schedule it, and it never happens. For example, if you are going to have a weekly sabbath, put it in your datebook and plan accordingly. Second, I have found it helpful to keep my plan in front of me as much as possible. Make some copies and put one on your refrigerator and another on your bathroom mirror. Out of sight leads to out of mind. Making your plan visible provides a constant reminder.

Next, find some people who can meet regularly to ask, “How’s it going with your plan?” This kind of accountability is of immense value. Studies have shown that people who are accountable increase their ability to achieve goals. You may not need it for the first week or two when your enthusiasm is high, but over time you will need to be accountable to keep going. I also suggest using processing questions to help assess the impact of your plan and to discover where you are struggling and need change. The following questions can be used to help you analyze how God is at work in your spiritual training program.

How am I seeing God at work in what I am doing?

Which practices am I enjoying the most? The least?

What, if anything, needs to be modified or changed in my rule?

Which old, false narratives have you struggled with since we last met?

How are you doing with your rule?

What is God teaching you through the practices in your rule?

How can we support you?

The following values of an apprentice of Jesus come from The Apprentice Series. They are the kinds of values all followers of Jesus should strive to live up to. A group of apprentices should review this list to see how they are doing personally and as a group.

noncooperation with wrongdoing

sensitivity in service to others

habitual prayer for all people and in all areas of my life

nonretaliation when others try to harm me

refusal to be ruled by avarice or sexual desire

use my resources to invest in heavenly treasures

refusal to gossip or judge others

conscious of and conscientiousness toward people in need

intentionally speak words of encouragement

labor to do all things well, which glorifies my Father in the heavens

If you have made it this far—reading all three books and putting these exercises into practice—you have done something pretty special. Having worked on these books for the past ten years and taken over a hundred people through these studies in small group settings, I know how challenging it is. The wonderful thing is that it works. If you are still reading this, I suspect you know it as well. There are so many great books and curricula available to us today—from Companions in Christ to Discipleship Essentials to Disciple: Becoming Disciples Through Bible Study—that we cannot say we lack in resources or ability. The real issue comes down to this: Will we do it? Will we stay the course? Will we keep working on deepening our love for God, taking care of ourselves and loving our neighbor? I pray that you have gained some ideas and practices that will help you as you continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.