Seven Learning To Bless Those Who Curse Us

Every time we retaliate we are operating by the narratives of the kingdom of this world. Each time we curse our enemies we are affirming our faith in the narratives of the life without God. When we refuse to freely give, we demonstrate our allegiance to the world’s narratives of scarcity and fear. When we hate our enemies we betray the God who loves his enemies. Conversely, when we pray for and bless those who curse us, we align ourselves with God and his kingdom. We are doing what Jesus did.

To cross the bridge from selfishness to generosity we need even more than new narratives; we will need the power of the indwelling Christ. In two beautiful passages Miroslav Volf explains how Christians are “more than enough” people:

If we are indwelled by Christ who became poor that we can become rich, we will be rich. No matter how little we have, we will be “more than enough” people. . . . And yet, without being “more than enough” people, our wanting will always outpace our having, and we’ll end up perpetually exhausted and forever dissatisfied.

We are “more than enough” people not because of the size of our bank account or the number of our accomplishments, but because Christ dwells in us. Our value is immense, and our world is safe, safe for us to give and to sacrifice our resources.

Outside of the kingdom we are not-enough people, always searching for our identity and happiness in material things; our “wanting will always outpace our having.” Volf describes the one indwelt by Christ as “a rich self”:

A rich self looks toward the future with trust. It gives rather than holding things back in fear of coming out too short, because it believes God’s promise that God will take care of it. Finite and endangered, a rich self still gives, because its life is “hidden with Christ” in the infinite, unassailable, and utterly generous God, the Lord of the present, the past, and the future.

The spiritually rich self is a “more than enough” person who is conscious of being indwelt by Christ. Such a person is able to cross the bridge from self-centeredness to generosity because there is no fear of coming out short. God is with us and for us and able to provide for us.

Has there been a time when you were a “more than enough” person? If so, how did it feel, and how did your behavior change?

God is with us—so the need to retaliate is diminished. God has an endless supply of resources—so the need to hang on to possessions decreases. God is looking out for our needs—so we can take the time to go the extra mile. God is the real owner of all we have—so the need to hoard and protect it diminishes. Kingdom identity (I am one in whom Christ dwells) and kingdom awareness (I am in the strong and secure kingdom of God) are the keys to doing what Jesus calls us to do. With these we can learn how to become radically generous and to live extraordinary lives.

Jesus is calling his apprentices to be extraordinary. Earlier in the Sermon he told us we could become the salt of the earth and light of the world. He urges us to live with a higher standard than mere justice. He calls us to live by the law of love. He tells us that in so doing we become “perfect” as our heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48). The word perfect causes a problem for many of us because we think it means moral flawlessness, which we know is impossible. The Greek word used here is teleios, which refers to a kind of spiritual maturity. We should not expect to be able to fulfill all that Jesus is asking of us right away. Maturity takes time. But we must give the kingdom of God a chance to operate in our lives. The following are three stories of people who dared to be extraordinary.

Pope John Paul.

In May 1981, the late Pope John Paul II was shot when Mohammed Agca attempted to take his life. Some two years later, reported Lance Morrow, in a bare, white-walled cell in Rome’s Rebibba prison, John Paul tenderly held the hand that held the gun that was meant to kill him. For 21 minutes, the Pope sat with his would-be assassin. . . . The two talked softly. Once or twice, Agca laughed. The Pope forgave him for the shooting. At the end of the meeting, Agca either kissed the Pope’s ring or pressed the Pope’s hand to his forehead in a Muslim gesture of respect.

Steven.

Steven’s son Bobby was killed in the September 11 attacks. Steven speaks wearing his son’s baseball cap. He shares the pain and anger that the senseless death of his son has caused. But he also says, “But there has not been a moment that passed when I believed that more violence will solve anything. I do not want any father to feel what I feel right now.” Steven started a group called “Families for Peaceful Tomorrows,” whose slogan is, “Our grief is not a cry for war.”

The mothers of Boyle Heights.

In the early 1990s, gang violence erupted in Boyle Heights, a section of East Los Angeles. Eight gangs were in conflict in the parish around the Dolores Mission Catholic Church. Killings and injuries happened daily. A group of women who met for prayer read together the story of Jesus walking on water (Matt. 14:22-33). Then one of the mothers, electrified by the text, began to identify the parallels between the Jesus story and her own.

The gang warfare in Boyle Heights was the storm on the sea of Galilee; the people hiding behind locked doors were the disciples huddled in the storm; the crackle of gunfire was the lightning; in both cases death was imminent. Then Jesus appeared and they hoped for a magical rescue. Instead, he said, “Get out of the boat.” “Walk on the water.” “Enter the violence.” . . .

That night, seventy women began a peregrinación, a procession from one barrio to another. They brought food, guitars and love. As they ate chips and salsa and drank Cokes with gang members, they began to sing the old songs of Jalisco, Chiapas, and Michoacán. The gang members were disoriented, baffled; the war zones were silent.

Each night the mothers walked. By nonviolently intruding and intervening they “broke the rules of war.” The old script of retaliation and escalating violence was challenged and changed. It is no accident that the women christened their nighttime journeys “love walks.”

As the relationships between the women and the gang members grew, the kids told their stories. Anguish over lack of jobs; anger at police brutality; rage over the hopelessness of poverty. Together they developed a tortilla factory, a bakery, a child-care center, a job-training program, a class on conflict-resolution techniques, a school for further learning, a neighborhood group to monitor and report police misbehavior, and more.

And it began with the challenges “Get out of the boat” and “Walk on water.”

In what ways have you already started to resemble God?

What I love about these stories is how they bear witness to God. We behave this way because God behaves this way. God loves his enemies and forgives those who hate him. We conform to this reality over time, and should not expect overnight change. In time we learn to love and pray for those we once thought of as competitors, and perhaps one day we will face our enemies and be able to wish them well.

I opened with a story about my friend Jane, who was fired yet dealt with those who criticized her with kingdom aplomb. It did not take long for her to find another coaching job. Halfway through her first season with her new team she sent me the following email:

Good morning Jim, in whom Christ dwells . . .

Well, you lived with me through the hard times, and you taught me how to navigate in the world as a Kingdom coach, so I had to share this with you. I hope it brings you joy.

My new team has played pretty well off and on this season. We won some, and we lost some. Then we faced the #7 team in the nation. Well, I have had moments when I felt God was with me as a coach before, but this was different. I didn’t let anything bother me and felt so much a desire to be like Jesus . . . the original Kingdom coach. On game day I spent a lot of time in prayer—it had been a long time since I had been in a big game on television. But I was relaxed . . . felt good with the kids. A lot happened along the way, but to make a long story short, we won!

Our university has never beaten a team ranked that high in their entire history. The fans there were so, so happy and my kids were screaming . . . full of joy . . . and I had an overwhelming emotion . . . of gratitude . . . not revenge for what people had said and done to me, but thankfulness to JESUS . . . giver of all things.

Jim, I have won some huge games in my life, but this was different. I felt deep in the Kingdom of God, and it felt better than any win ever did before. I did not need any affirmation, nor feel the need to prove my worth, because I knew the truth of who I am and where I am, and it is my core value now. Thanks for the wisdom and teaching . . .

Keeping the faith

Jane in whom Christ dwells

After reading it I opened my tattered copy of Dallas Willard’s Divine Conspiracy and read these words aloud from a page I had dog-eared long ago, because they reminded me of what Jane had experienced. Dallas is describing how those who live in the kingdom of God find comfort, even in trial, and stand firm when under duress:

We know that we will be taken care of, no matter what. We can be vulnerable because we are, in the end, simply invulnerable. And once we have broken the power of anger and desire over our lives, we know that the way of Christ in response to personal injury and imposition is always the easier way. It is the only way that allows us to move serenely in the midst of the harm and beyond it.

Jane is living proof that the kingdom is never in trouble, and neither are those who dwell in it.

Most of us will not be slapped or sued this week, and hopefully none of us will be cursed or persecuted. For this reason we can easily sidestep this section of the Sermon on the Mount and think, Good thing I don’t have to turn my cheek or offer my accuser my whole wardrobe. But the core teaching is to begin seeing those who are a threat to us in a different light. Instead of retaliating, Jesus is asking us to bless those who harm us. It might be a good practice to think of someone who is your enemy—someone who you know is actively pursuing your demise. Many of us will be hard-pressed to come up with an authentic enemy.

So I would like you to scale it down a little and take a smaller step in obeying Jesus commands. I want you to pray for the success of a competitor. A competitor is anyone you are measured against, anyone whose success in some way diminishes yours. It might be a business competitor or someone you compete against in school or in sports. Perhaps it is a parent whose child competes with your child in athletics or the fine arts. If you are a pastor, you might want to pray for the success of nearby churches.

Ask God to reveal these people or institutions to you.

Some have said to me, “To be honest, I really do not have any competitors.” If that is the case, think of someone who causes difficulty in your life. My wife calls these people “irregular persons”—people who get under our skin or do things that causes us problems. Choose a competitor or difficult person. Pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit about who you should pray for.

It usually doesn’t take long to figure out which persons or institutions are our competitors, but once we begin praying for them we notice an inner tension; namely, we don’t really want them to succeed. At first we merely say it and don’t necessarily feel it. That is OK. Be at peace about this. This is a slow process. As we do it over time we will begin to notice our feelings change. Whenever I engage in this exercise something strange happens. I won’t tell you what that is. You will soon discover it for yourself. And when you do, you’ll appreciate the wisdom of Jesus and his command to pray for your enemies.

Spend a few minutes each day praying for your competitor, asking God to bless him or her and the work he or she does.

Hold that person or institution up before God, and pray for as many good things to happen as you can think of.

Do this once a day for four or five days this week. See if your heart begins to change toward this person.