You Have A Soul

2. To be wanted, desired

3. To be loved without condition

4. To be intimately connected to God

5. To be forgiven forever

6. To be alive and empowered to adventure

7. To be holy, virtuous

8. To own my story

9. To be called to a life of purpose

10. To be glorified and live forever

First, our souls, which are embodied, long for our body to be regarded as sacred. Harm to our bodies is harmful to our souls, because they are united.

Second, our souls long to be wanted. When you feel welcome, when you feel as if other people really desire you and are glad you are there, your soul feels joy and peace.

Third, our souls also want to be loved, not for anything we do, but for who we are. We all know when people are showing affection or appreciation for what we have done. The soul’s longing to be loved is to be loved for absolutely no reason.

Fourth, our souls long for God. And we connect to God, to the spiritual realm, in so many ways, not just in church. A piece of art, a wildflower, a calming or exhilarating song, connect to our souls.

Fifth, our souls long for forgiveness. Just as our souls cannot endure being unforgiven, our souls rejoice when we have found real forgiveness. When the wrong we have done has been acquitted, our souls find release.

Sixth, our souls also long to be fully alive. They long for an adventure. Our souls want to be a part of something thrilling.

Seventh, just as our souls reject sin, they also long for holiness. Our souls have been preprogrammed for purity. They long to be clean. When I walk in holiness—when I do the next thing I know to be right—my soul feels whole. I am living into who I was designed to be.

Eighth, our souls come into this world in a time, a place, a family, and a culture. Our lives become our story. And our souls long for our story to have meaning. We want our lives—with their pains and losses, as well as joys and successes—to matter.

Ninth, our souls also long to live a life that makes the world a better place. For most of us, we long to feel like we are called to something, to be a part of something. We are born with a set of gifts, with a specific temperament, and certain talents and passions that come together to form our unique calling.

To what extent have you experienced any of these ten longings of the soul?

Tenth and finally, we long for glory. Not merely the fame and glory that come in this life, but to be glorified in the next. Our souls long for eternal life. Every one of these longings has been met in God and by God. There is nothing we have to do to earn that fulfillment—they are all a gift.

Our souls, while eternal and enduring, cannot endure deadness and boredom, rejection and sin. And our souls are very, very needy. In fact, the needs of our souls are far greater than what this world can give. As John Ortberg writes, “The soul’s infinite capacity to desire is the mirror image of God’s infinite capacity to give. . . . The unlimited need of the soul matches the unlimited grace of God.” The good news is that the God who created our needy souls has, by grace, provided all that our souls will ever need. We cannot achieve or attain these things our souls need. They have to be given to us by God, as a gift. And God has provided all of those things in Jesus.

Figure 1.2. When we come into faith in Christ, the Christ-form surrounds our soul

1. In Christ I am a sacred member of Jesus’ body.

2. In Christ I am wanted.

3. In Christ I am loved.

4. In Christ I am connected to God.

5. In Christ I am forgiven.

6. In Christ I am alive and empowered to adventure.

7. In Christ I am holy.

8. In Christ I am the owner of my story.

9. In Christ I am called.

10. In Christ I am hidden and glorified.

The soul cannot endure . . .

The longings of the soul . . .

In Christ . . .

Harm to our bodies

To see my body as sacred

I am a sacred member of Jesus’ body.

Feeling unwanted

To be wanted and desired

I am wanted.

Shame

To be loved without condition

I am loved.

Disconnection with God

To be intimately connected with God

I am connected to God.

Guilt

To be forgiven forever

I am forgiven.

Boredom

To be made alive and to take part in an adventure

I am alive and empowered to adventure.

Sin

To be holy and virtuous

I am holy.

Victimization

To own my story

I am the owner of my story.

Meaninglessness

To be called to a life of purpose

I am called.

Nonexistence

To be glorified and live forever

I am hidden and glorified.

Figure 1.3. The wellness of the soul

If we seek true and complete fulfillment from the things of this world we will search in vain. People may want us, or they may not. People may love us, or they may not. To fulfill the deep needs of our soul, we must look to Jesus. When we come into faith in Christ, when we are born from above and enter into the kingdom of God, our lives become “hidden with Christ” (Colossians 3:3). In this sense, the “Christ-form” surrounds our soul, as seen in figure 1.2. In Christ alone we find what our souls are looking for. In Jesus alone we find wellness for our souls.

In Christ I discover that I am desired. In Christ I learn that I am loved. By the work of Jesus on the cross, I find that I am forgiven forever. And through Jesus’ resurrection, I realize that I am risen with him. By the work of Jesus I have been made holy; by his victory over sin and death, I discover that I am free. In Christ I learn that I have been gifted and called.

“All I have needed thy hand hath provided,” as the hymn says. God’s amazing grace has saved a wretch like me. “My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! / My sin—not in part but the whole / Is nailed to His cross and I bear it no more; / Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul.”

The rest of this book will examine how God, in Christ, has created the good and beautiful you and has provided for the deepest needs of your soul. Each chapter will examine these actions of God on your behalf and my behalf.

The week of intensive counseling was the beginning of my soul restoration. During that week I stopped and acknowledged that I had a soul, something I had forgotten and neglected. Indeed, I am a soul, and to neglect my soul is to neglect my entire person. But that week was only the beginning of the work I needed to do to develop wellness in my soul. The primary change in me was learning to live again with my soul in mind in all that I do. I was able to see that success is something to be thankful for but not to rely on, and in fact is something to be careful about. We simply must guard our souls.

Over the next few years I would relearn to love the things my soul loves: loving God, first and foremost; loving that I am desired and loved by God; loving being made alive in Christ; loving being forgiven forever by the cross and living with no condemnation; loving the unique calling God has given me; and loving the reality that I, and those I love, will one day rule and reign and dance and sing in the new heaven and the new earth. And in the meantime, taking successes lightly.

A few years after my own healing journey, I had dinner with Richard Foster. I shared with him my own story of soul restoration. “Way back when, you told me my life would change, and that I must guard my soul. How did you know this would happen?” I asked.

“Because it happened to me. That is why I tried to warn you.”

“Well,” I said, “I wish I would have listened.”

“You listened as best you could,” Richard said. “There are many things we just have to go through on our own to fully understand.”

Think about a time you struggled. Can you say you are grateful for that struggle? Take some time to write down things you can be grateful about in that struggle.

One of the odd things people who have done counseling, or been through therapy, or through twelve-step programs, will often say is, “I am actually grateful for my struggle.” One friend of mine even said, “My addiction saved my life.” I used to think that was crazy. Now I know it is absolutely true.

I am sad for the few years I struggled as my soul atrophied, but I am not sad that I struggled. It led me to a new kind of love and freedom and passion I could never have experienced if I had not struggled. I am so grateful to be able to say, “It is well with my soul.”