God’s Portrait of a Wonderful Wife and Marvelous Mother

Life has its ups and downs, its good times and its bad times. The virtuous woman is well aware of this, and she is prepared to face both. When the difficult days confront her, she goes into action. But rather than flailing about erratically, she moves in a very definite manner.

When cold weather comes, she sees that her family is ready, clothed with the finest quality garments she can provide (scarlet according to the Masoretic Text, or double according to the Septuagint). When tough times come, she does not lower the bar. She does her best and begins by looking out for the interest of others (cf. Phil 2:4).

The text would indicate this woman was a woman of means. Because of her character and commitments, God could entrust her with ­material blessings, knowing she will not hoard them but will share them. Working with her own hands, she uses the finest fabrics and highest quality materials available to her. She is strong and elegant, gracious and attractive. Her outward apparel only enhances the radiant beauty that shines forth from her heart and soul.

Proverbs 31:23

The husband who finds and wins such a wife is a fortunate man. This woman is the kind of wife a man needs in order to make it, and make it well, in this world. She will not tear him down but will build him up. This takes place inside and also outside the home.

This man’s wife is his greatest asset, his best advertisement. Her husband, her man, is known and well thought of in the places of importance. That she is his and he is hers is known by all, and this is a plus for his reputation. That this man could win this lady speaks well of him, and all take notice.

As a great woman, she makes her man better not worse. She is not the “not-so-great woman” who takes a great man and drags him down to mediocrity. No, she is a great lady that may take a mediocre man and lift him to greatness. She makes him better than he could be without her. Largely because of the blessing she brings to him, this man takes his seat among the elders, the leaders of the city. He is an esteemed and respected member of the governing body of the town.

Proverbs 31:24-27

In her book Mom, You’re Incredible!, Linda Weber asks, “What in the World Do I Do All Day?” She writes,

Being a momis a job with a capital J. We work our fingers to the bone, push our nerves to the edge and use every skill we have to accomplish the day’s demands. Just what does a mother do all day? Today’s college student can’t imagine. Numbers of women are baffled by what they’d do with “all that time” if they had to be home. Sometimes Mom herself can’t remember.

Linda then notes (1) what a mother is and (2) what a mother does. Her lists flesh out with remarkable similarity verses 24-27:

What am I? Well, I’m the following:

And what else do I do? Well, among many other things, I do the following:

(Weber, Mom, You’re Incredible!, 165–69)

Well, what Linda describes we find right here in our text. What is this marvelous mother like? What does this wonderful wife do? First, she is active with her hands (v. 24). She makes clothing and furnishings for herself and her family, making enough to sell the excess for profit. Second, she is adorned by her character (v. 25). What she wears is always in style: strength and honor, as well as a sense of humor and a positive outlook. Third, she is appropriate in her speech (v. 26). Words of wisdom and cascades of kindness flow from her mouth and fall from her tongue. She knows the nuclear power of words, and she uses them well. Wise and gracious, she is blessed with common sense and a carefully guarded gate on that untamable beast called the tongue (cf. Jas 3). Fourth, she is attentive to her home (v. 27). This lady is active and not idle, for there is always much to do. She keeps her eyes wide open, watching each member of the family, sensitive to their personalities, conscious of their needs, quick to spot danger.

Proverbs 31:28-29

Iris Krasnow, a former United Press International reporter, candidly confesses,

I remember when I was a college student home on holiday breaks, the sight of my own stay-at-home mother wearing her red-checked dish towel over one shoulder and doing crossword puzzles . . . used to rile me over the oppression of wives stuck in their kitchens. Today, I am exhilarated by the wife-mother role I once believed to be the death of dreams. . . . Nothing ever felt so powerful, so free, so spiritually right, than being a mother who organizes a home and fights for her children on every front. (“Surrendering to Motherhood”)

Such a lady will no doubt win the love, affection, and admiration of her family. Husband and children alike will sing her praises.

The children of this mother stand to their feet and bless her. They testify to her impact on their lives and her influence that still shapes and guides them. One of the all-time greats as a mother was Susannah Wesley, mother of Charles and John. Mother to seventeen children, she prayed one hour each day just for them, and she spent one hour each week discussing spiritual matters with each one individually. Her children, no doubt, called her blessed. Why? Here are a few of the rules she used in raising her children. At the time, they may have seemed harsh. Later, her children saw the wisdom of them and blessed her for loving them in such clear and tangible ways.

(“16 House Rules”)

Any child would be blessed to be loved by a mother in such an intentional manner. As they grow to become parents themselves, they will bless her for how she raised them and what she taught them.

Ross wisely notes, “The wisdom of the noble woman inspires praise from her family—from those who know her the best” (“Proverbs,” 251). Joining the chorus of his children, her husband complements their chant—“We have the greatest mother in the world”—with one of his own: “I have the greatest wife in the world.” I strongly suspect the children learned to praise Mom by watching Dad. They had learned it from him. I (Danny) have often said to my sons that I made one mistake in marrying their mother when I was twenty-one and she was nineteen. I should have married her when I was twenty and she was eighteen! That would have added an extra year of my being married to the greatest wife in the world as I see it! Now that my sons are grown, they joyfully join me in praising and admiring the godly wife and mother the Lord has given us.

Proverbs 31:30-31

The tribute to this incredible woman ends as it should: with an eternal perspective and praise from the Lord. It seems best to me to see God as the speaker through the sage in verses 30-31.

Charm and beauty are not bad; they simply are not what makes a great woman. “Inner spiritual beauty does not deceive” (Waltke, Proverbs, Chapters 15–31, 535).

Physical appearance is fleeting; it does not endure. To trust in and focus on these temporary advantages is foolish and self-deceiving. The virtuous woman knows what matters, she knows what lasts, she knows what is eternal. These are the things she values. As one who belongs to Jesus, she seeks the things above. She also sets her mind on things above because her “life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:1-3). Having entered into a relationship with Wisdom himself, Jesus Christ, she fears the Lord, which “is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov 1:7).

What matters is that this lady knows the Lord, loves the Lord, and fears the Lord. Her passion in life is to please him, know him, obey him, and honor him. Such a woman will receive praise (in v. 30 it is implied the praise come from the Lord), and the life she lives day in and day out will be fruitful and worthy of praise (v. 31). At the end of life, looking back over the many years of service for God and service to others, she will quietly and confidently say, “No regrets. No regrets.”

Proverbs begins with a dad telling his son to make Woman Wisdom his wife, and it ends with a husband praising a wise wife. Woman Wisdom points to Jesus, who is the embodiment of God’s Wisdom. The wise wife is, therefore, a type of Woman Wisdom, and one can only be that kind of wife if she is in a relationship with the Wisdom of God who is Jesus Christ. The only way to be a positive mom and a Proverbs lady is to be a saved mom, a born again woman of God. The woman of Proverbs 31 is not just any woman. She is a saved woman, a godly woman, a Bible woman, a Jesus woman. The applause and praise of the world mean nothing. The applause and praise of the Lord Jesus means everything. She walks in wisdom as the personification of Lady Wisdom because she knows that the ultimate incarnation of wisdom is the Wisdom of God, Jesus Christ (see 1 Cor 1:30). What an appropriate way to end this chapter. What a Christ-honoring way to end this book!