Jesus’s Wisdom on How to Talk to Others and How to Treat Others

feet eager to run to evil,

a lying witness who gives false testimony,

and one who stirs up trouble among brothers.

Words and actions are a pair seldom separated. Both are before the constant gaze of our all-seeing, all-knowing God. Having dealt with the importance of our words in 5:33-37, Jesus moves to address the importance of our actions in the remainder of chapter 5. The issue of retaliation is the concern of verses 38-42. Our Lord puts five principles before us to guide what we do as citizens of his kingdom.

Verse 38 is a direct and partial quote from texts in the Old Testament (Exod 21:23-25; Lev 24:17-21; Deut 19:21) and concerns the law or principle of lex talionis, which means “law of retaliation.” “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” is familiar to most of us. It was originally given as “a guide to the courts in their judgments and was not intended to guide individuals in exacting revenge” (Quarles, Sermon, 145). The goal was to ensure fair and balanced judgments and sentences. It was to be applied without discrimination or prejudice. Jesus did not oppose its legal application. He opposed its use to justify acts of personal revenge and vengeance. As Carson notes, “The law was thus being dragged into the personal arena, where it could scarcely foster even rough justice, but only bitterness, vengeance, malice, hatred” (Sermon, 49).

Jesus’s response is sweeping and, no doubt, shocking to the ears of his congregation that day. He lays down the basic principle, “But I tell you, don’t resist an evildoer.” In other words, don’t relate to others as enemies. Relate, if at all possible, to them as neighbors. Be loving, not hateful. Be kind, not harsh. Revenge of any stripe is not an option. Paul’s words in Romans 12:17-21 provide an excellent commentary on what Jesus says in this verse:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

The mind-set that says, “I don’t get mad; I get even,” is foreign to the ethics of Paul and the crucified Galilean. It must also be foreign to those who follow him. We are to walk in his steps and follow his example no matter how hard it is to do it.

Jesus provides four examples to illustrate his command in verse 39. The first is an insulting slap. If anyone (no exceptions) slaps you on your right cheek (a backhanded slap intended to embarrass you), turn the other also (be willing to endure further insult). Interestingly, the word Matthew uses for “slap” is the same word he uses in 26:67-68 when Jesus was blindfolded and slapped by Roman soldiers. The slap would be both insulting and painful. Again I cannot improve on the insight of my good friend Chuck Quarles:

Jesus Himself was the perfect model of this gracious response to the abuses of others. He was mocked, spat on, beaten with sticks, slapped, scourged, and nailed to a cross. Nevertheless, he endured this all without retaliation and even with forgiveness on His lips. Never is the disciple more like the Savior than when he responds to abuses graciously and without retaliation. (Sermon, 150)

I do not think this verse calls us to refrain from protecting ourselves or our families from harm. Nor do I think justice for those who commit violent crimes is to be excused. The guiding principle is showing neighborly love to all and putting away a heart of anger, malice, and revenge. Justice and forgiveness are not mutually exclusive.

Jesus has addressed how citizens of the kingdom should respond to a violent and dishonorable insult. Now he moves to address how his disciples should respond to a legal attack. His example would have been both familiar and relevant in a first-century Jewish context.

In this example a man brings a lawsuit against you. Perhaps he even has a legitimate complaint as in verses 25-26. The “shirt” he wishes to take was the tunic, a long inner garment worn under the coat next to the skin. It was usually made of wool or linen and was often used for bartering or making payments in Jesus’s day (Quarles, Sermon, 153). The “coat” (ESV, “cloak”) was the outer garment and considered the more valuable. It was not only used as a coat but also for bedding, especially if one had to sleep outdoors. In fact, Old Testament law said that the poor should not be made to surrender their coat (Exod 22:25-27; Deut 24:12-13) (Osborne, Matthew, 209). Jesus, however, calls his followers to go beyond what the law requires. Respond to your accuser and adversary with grace. In our day we might say it like this: “If he takes your coat, offer him the shirt off your back.” The Message words the verse like this: “If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it.” In other words, do what the law requires and then go further. When you do this, God becomes your defense and provider. A “radically unselfish attitude” will amaze the world, but it will invite the blessing and pleasure of your heavenly Father who is witness to all that is taking place (France, Gospel, 127).

“Be willing to go the extra mile” has long been a colloquial saying in our culture. It has its source in verse 41, which has a historical background that will help us to understand it. Israel was an occupied territory under the rule of mighty Rome. Her people could legally be compelled to assist the Roman military. We see an example of this action when Simon of Cyrene was forced to help carry the cross of our Lord (Mark 15:21). Sinclair Ferguson points out, “The Jews hated the practice because it publicly illustrated the humiliation of being a subjugated people. We can easily imagine how open to abuse it was” (Sermon, 101).

The phrase “one mile” means “one thousand paces” in Latin (Quarles, Sermon, 155). According to Jesus’s illustration, you are legally required to assist a Roman soldier by carrying a load he gives you for one thousand steps. However, when you reach the limits of what the Roman law requires, don’t stop and drop the burden at the oppressor’s feet. Keep going. Carry the load another mile. Do it voluntarily, not for a king in this world but for the King of heaven. Obligation dictated the first mile. Compassion directs the second. The Roman soldier would no doubt be shocked and wonder why you would serve him, your enemy, when it is not required. Gospel opportunities abound for us to show and say to others, “I serve you because I have been served. In fact, let me tell you about the one who comes to serve us both, who came to serve the world, bearing its burden of sin all the way to the cross.”

In Jesus’s next illustration he describes someone coming across your path with a desperate and legitimate need. They are not slothful, lazy, or irresponsible (see 1 Thess 5:14-15; 2 Thess 3:10). They are hurting, need your help, and you have the means to assist them. Jesus says, Jump in with both feet. Old Testament teaching repeatedly affirms our responsibility to help the poor (Exod 22:25; Lev 25:25-36; Deut 15:7-11; Prov 28:27). Jesus will reaffirm this in Matthew 25:35-36.

Quarles informs us that many Jews would rather die than beg (Sermon, 156). This means those to whom Jesus referred as asking for something had a legitimate need. So, he says, the one before you has almost lost all hope. Don’t lecture him. Feed him. Don’t shame him. Share with him what God has given you without expecting anything in return. Spurgeon nails it: “Be generous. A miser is no follower of Jesus” (Exposition, 30). Carson helpfully adds, “Christ will not tolerate a mercenary, tight-fisted, penny-pinching attitude. . . . Don’t be asking yourself all the time, ‘What’s in it for me? What can I get out of it?’” (Sermon, 52).

Our motive in helping others is simple: we have been helped by our heavenly Father where our need for forgiveness as sinful beggars and spiritual paupers was greatest. We have been blessed and showered with blessings above all in this world. Once again gospel opportunities abound as we share with others both what we have and what we have been given. As Paul writes, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: Though he was rich, for your sake he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich” (2 Cor 8:9).

To those who love and follow Jesus, these verses have a powerful and attractive nature because they remind us of him during his passion. In 1 Timothy 6:13 Paul points out that our Lord “gave a good confession before Pontius Pilate.” He spoke the truth, and he spoke it clearly just as he did before the high priest Caiaphas and under oath (Matt 26:57-64). But no one puts it more beautifully than the apostle Peter:

He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth; when he was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. (1 Pet 2:22-23)

What an example he gave us as he bore not only the wrath of God in our place but also the wrath of men for our benefit.

Sinclair Ferguson summarizes it so very well:

“Let the insults come,” says Jesus, “and show by your response that you feel no need for retaliation, because you have your reputation secure with God, as his child. Let your response to insult be gracious—just as your Father’s response to your insult of sin against him has been so gracious. Will anyone be won for the kingdom by your retaliation, by your standing on your rights? How could they be, when the King in the kingdom is one who did not retaliate?” (Sermon, 120)